It was time to wash the bedding in my apartment. Now, I probably don't do that as often as polite society would dictate, but 1) I probably spend more time on Hilton's sheets than on my own, and 2) I am a guy.
But it was time. So yesterday I stripped the bed, pulled the pillows from their cases, yanked off the mattress pad, and pulled the comforters from their duvets. Since I have such a small washing machine, the only way to thoroughly wash the linens is to first soak them in OxyClean (RIP, Billy Mays). And it's not like I have a laundry sink or soaking facility, so into the bath tub they went.
I went about my day, and eventually went to bed.
Today I woke up and went to shower, only to discover a bunch of damp sheets already in the tub. I thought, "Huh. That's inconvenient."
My next thought was, "Guess I should skip the shower."
That seemed like a bad precedent. Besides, I didn't think it was right that I had to wait in line to use my own bathroom, behind my sheets. They take forever to get ready for the day.
While I considered the DSM IV ramifications of personifying my sheets like that, I thought, "Why don't I just do the laundry?" Which brought me right back to the issue of there being a good 4 loads of laundry in the tub, and only 1 barely able to fit into the washing machine.
Finally, I came to the only logical solution. The laundry has been in contact with me in the past. Now it was going to be in soapy water. So was I while I showered. So I shrugged, kicked the laundry to one end of the tub and took my shower.
And for some reason, The GF was appalled when I mentioned it.
You contradict yourself, Bill. In the first paragraph you claim to be a guy. In the second you use the word duvet.
ReplyDeleteI submit that no guy knows the meaning of this word, let alone how to use it in a sentence.
Fortunately your subsequent solution to your problem rescues your guy-ness.
Enjoy the show tonight. Think of me during Uptown Girl and Rocket Man. Love those songs!
Still am.
ReplyDeleteStill am what, GF? Appalled?
ReplyDeleteYes, still am appalled. And Bill probably knows the word "duvet" from me. No loss of guy-ness there. I guess, at least, ultimately everything did get clean. It's just the method I find questionable.
ReplyDeleteIt certainly is an interesting method. Bill gets points for creativity and cleanliness!
ReplyDeleteI also learned the word from my wife. I don't know if I could ever actually use it in a sentence. Its a bit like taupe. I recognize taupe is a color, but it will always be brown to me. I stick to the colors of the rainbow for my personal vocabulary usage.