Book Review 72: Ready Player One

Going outside is highly overrated.
-Anorak’s Almanac, Chapter 17, Verse 32

One day last fall, I glanced over at my Twitter feed and saw that Wil Wheaton (@WilW) was in Seattle that evening for a reading at the Elliott Bay Book Company. He would join author Ernie Cline (@erniecline)  to talk about Cline’s first novel -- Ready Player One. I  had to go.

It was fun evening. The author Q&A was awesome.Wil did the reading and was also awesome. I bought my copy of the book and got in line for the signing at the end of the event. I chatted with Wil and Ernie about my Atari shirt and their dealings with ThinkGeek. If you get the chance to see them, I highly recommend it. And by “them” I mean Wil and Ernie. Or ThinkGeek.  Either way.

Eventually, I worked through my reading queue and cracked open Ready Player One while having dinner at the Nine Fine Irishmen in Las Vegas during CES 2012. The book was quite good, but not quite as good as I hoped.  There are lots of things to love about it, but the book does have some flaws. That’s even more disappointing because, given the subject matter and the author’s presence at the reading, I wanted this to be the most awesome-est book I’d seen in years. It’s not. It’s still good, just not as awesome as I had hoped.

Still, if you’re a fan of 80s Geek Culture, you’ll likely enjoy the book.

The story takes place in a dystopian future where the Earth has suffered major environmental collapse.  The divide between the rich and poor is wider than ever. The most popular form of entertainment is the virtual world of the OASIS.  That basic setup is nothing new; we’ve seen it from William Gibson, Neal Stephenson, Melissa Scott, Richard Morgan, and more. While the basic scene may be familiar, Cline takes it in a different way.

The OASIS is the heart of the story. It is a virtual land, not unlike Second Life or World of Warcraft on a much larger scale.  You have an avatar that you design, buy clothes for, equip with weapons and special gear, and then you interact with other characters on different planets and virtual locations in the OASIS. Where you are in the real world is irrelevant.  You put on your goggles, headphones, gloves, and sometimes your special suit, login, and you’re walking and flying around the OASIS.

The story kicks of with the death of James Halliday, a game programmer, entrepreneur, inventory of the OASIS world, and child of the 80s.  

At first, I couldn’t understand why the media was making such a big deal of the billionaire’s death. After all, the people of Planet Earth had other concerns. The ongoing energy crisis. Catastrophic climate change. Widespread famine, poverty, and disease. Half a dozen wars. You know: “dogs and cats living together . . . mass hysteria!” Normally, the newsfeeds didn’t interrupt everyone’s interactive sitcoms and soap operas unless something really major had happened. Like the outbreak of some new killer virus, or another major city vanishing in a mushroom cloud. Big stuff like that. As famous as he was, Halliday’s death should have warranted only a brief segment on the evening news, so the unwashed masses could shake their heads in envy when the newscasters announced the obscenely large amount of money that would be doled out to the rich man’s heirs.

Page 1

Halliday’s death is momentous because of his will. He leaves his company shares and all his wealth to a gamer who finds the Easter Egg. Basically, he hid puzzles throughout the virtual world. The player who solves the puzzles and wins the game gets everything.

This draws individuals, teams, and organizations who all want to win the prize and control the OASIS for their own purposes.  One of those egg hunters, or “Gunters” is Wade Watts (AKA Parzival) our narrator -- a poor, orphaned teenager who’d long been an OASIS denizen and is obsessed with the 80s.  Halliday is his hero. He lives through the crushing depression that many teenagers face.  But he takes on the quest.

He’s got the background for it because he identifies so much with Halliday.  When a reporter ask Halliday’s former friend and business partner for tips, he offers this advice.

“As the person who knew James Halliday the best, do you have any advice for the millions of people who are now searching for his Easter egg? Where do you think people should start looking for it?”

“I think Jim made that pretty obvious,” Morrow replied, tapping a finger against his temple, just as Halliday had in the Anorak’s Invitation video. “Jim always wanted everyone to share his obsessions, to love the same things he loved. I think this contest is his way of giving the entire world an incentive to do just that.”

Page 122

As is often the case, completing the quest isn’t what the character needs. The quest itself matters. That was certainly the case for our narrator.

Then the Hunt for Halliday’s Easter egg began. That was what saved me, I think. Suddenly I’d found something worth doing. A dream worth chasing. For the last five years, the Hunt had given me a goal and purpose. A quest to fulfill. A reason to get up in the morning. Something to look forward to.

The moment I began searching for the egg, the future no longer seemed so bleak.

Page 19

Our narrator pursue the challenge like many geeky teenage boys shyly falls for a girl and rival.

This is an interesting story bit. Cline writes about these feelings in way that feels really familiar from back in those days.

I didn’t, of course. My whole relationship with Art3mis was in defiance of all common sense. But I couldn’t help falling for her. Somehow, without my realizing it, my obsession with finding Halliday’s Easter egg was gradually being supplanted by my obsession with Art3mis.

Page 178

I’d heard all the cliched warnings about the perils of falling for someone you only knew online, but I ignored them. I decided that whoever Art3mis really was, I was in love with her. I could feel it, deep in the soft. chewy caramel center of my being.

And then one night, like a complete idiot, I told her how I felt.

Page 179

I especially like that last line.  It feels right in that context.  The other interesting thing here is the way Cline tells the story. The whole book is told in flashback.  Parzival tells us he’s going to tell Art3mis how he feels and that it will go badly several pages before we actually see that encounter.  Going into many sections of the book, we already have a sense of what is going to happen, but Cline still builds a feeling of suspense around it.

Why does he finally tell her?  Well, Cyndi Lauper has a little something to do with it.

Her avatar lost its human form and dissolved into a pulsing amorphous blob that changed its size and color in synch with the music. I selected the mirror partner option on my dance software and began to do the same. My avatar’s limbs and torso began to flow and spin like taffy, encircling Art3mis, while strange color patterns flowed and shifted across my skin. I looked like Plastic Man, if he were tripping out of his mind on LSD. Then everyone else on the dance floor also began to shape-shift, melting into prismatic blobs of light. Soon, the center of the club looked like some otherworldly lava lamp.

When the song ended, Og took a bow, then queued up a slow song. “Time after Time” by Cyndi Lauper. All around us, avatars began to pair up.

Page 185

This section of the book is revealing in a number of ways. I’ve ready criticism of the book that says Cline is an immature writer and that when he writes about emotions and feelings, it all comes across as juvenile and immature. I do get that sense throughout most of the book, but I’m not sure if that a limitation of Clines skill or an example of it. The book should sound like a teenager wrote it because it’s told from a teenager’s first person point-of-view. 

This section is also interesting because it plays with the OASIS world a bit.  In the passage, Cline shows us just some of the things that are possible in the digital world.  You can defy gravity. You’re form can convert into blobs of light. Avatars can interact in ways that would be completely impossible in the physical world.  And if your avatar doesn’t know how to dance, just  add some software.

The huge open space in the center of the sphere served as the club’s zero-gravity “dance floor.” You reached it simply by jumping off the ground, like Superman taking flight, and then swimming through the air, into the spherical zero-g “groove zone.”

Page 183

SInce the OASIS is only 1s and 0s on servers, it can be infinitely big. Adding more space is as simple as writing some code.

Early in the Facebook days, you may remember friends giving on another virtual sheep and other goods.  Users could pay for fancier ones. Games like Farmville and Pet Society let you pay real cash to get fancier farm equipment and furniture.  And what do you actually get for your money? Nothing but an automated entry in a database.  “Items” are simply conjured out of code, and if the game goes away so does all that merchandise.  

The virtual world of the OASIS works in much the same way, and Haliday’s GSS made a fortune on it.

In addition to the billions of dollars that GSS raked in selling land that didn’t actually exist, they made a killing selling virtual objects and hides. The OASIS became such an integral part of people’s day-to-day social lives that users were more than willing to shell out real money to buy accessories for their avatars: clothing, furniture, houses, flying cars. magic swords and machine guns. These items were nothing but ones and zeros stored on the OASIS servers, but they were also status symbols. Most items only cost a few credits, but since they cost nothing for GSS to manufacture, it was all profit. Even in the throes of an ongoing economic recession, the OASIS allowed Americans to continue engaging in their favorite pastime: shopping.

Page 59

There are thousands of worlds in the OASIS. The world where Parzival confesses his feeling to Art3mis is called Neo Noir.

There were hundreds of cyberpunk-themed worlds spread throughout the OASIS, but Neo Noir was one of the largest and oldest. Seen from orbit, the planet was a shiny onyx marble covered in overlapping spider- webs of pulsating light. It was always night on Neo Noir, the world over, and its surface was an uninterrupted grid of interconnected cities packed with impossibly large skyscrapers. Its skies were filled with a continuous stream of flying vehicles whirring through the vertical cityscapes, and the streets below teemed with leather-clad NPCs and mirror-shaded avatars, all sporting high-tech weaponry and subcutaneous implants as they spouted city-speak straight out of Neuromancer.

Page 181-182

Because of the ability to equip avatars and the scope of the universe, there are still differences between the Haves and Have Nots, even in the OASIS. And early challenge for Parzival is simply to figure out how to get to different parts of the OASIS without any money.

The kids who didn’t own ships would either hitch a ride with a friend or stampede to the nearest transport terminal, headed for some offworld dance club, gaming arena, or rock concert. But not me. I wasn’t going anywhere. I was stranded on Ludus, the most boring planet in the entire OASIS.

The Ontologically Anthropocentric Sensory Immersive Simulation was a big place.

Page 48

So I remained stuck at school. I felt like a kid standing in the world’s greatest video arcade without any quarters, unable to do anything but walk around and watch the other kids play.

Page 51

As Parzival figures out ways around the limitations, he devotes himself full time to hunting the egg.  He spends more and more time in the OASIS.  Aside from basic biological needs, why leave?  Everything he needs can be delivered to his home. All his friends are on the OASIS, and he can even earn money there.

My apartment was on the forty-second floor, number 4211. The security lock mounted outside required another retinal scan. Then the door slid open and the interior lights switched on. There was no furniture in the cube-shaped room, and only one window. I stepped inside, closed the door, and locked it behind me. Then I made a silent vow not to go outside again until I had completed my quest. I would abandon the real world altogether until I found the egg.

Page 166

Capitalism would inch forward, without my actually having to interact face-to-face with another human being. Which was exactly how I preferred it, thank you.

Page 191

Cline opens one of the chapters with Groucho Marx prescient thoughts on the matter:

I’m not crazy about reality, but it’s still the only place to get a decent meal.

Groucho Marx

Page 167

One of the most popular features of the book is all the 80s and pop-culture references.  Parzival has a series of videos running on his “channel” within the OASIS for others to watch.

I pulled up my programming grid and made a few changes to my evening lineup. I cleared away the episodes of Riptide and Misfits of Science I’d programmed and dropped in a few back-to-back flicks starring Gamera, my favorite giant flying turtle. I thought they should be real crowd pleasers. Then, to finish off the broadcast day, I added a few episodes of Silver spoons.

Page 202

That stuff really resonates with me. Misfits of Science is where I developed my crush on Courtney Cox. I was never an A-Team fan, but I loved Riptide with its pink helicopters. I like the show even more when they added June Chadwick to the caste in the last season (I developed my crush on her during V: The Series).  Gamera was always my favorite Godzilla monster. I mean, come on, he flies by pulling his legs into his shell and turning his leg holes into jet engines. That’s awesome. I was a regular Silver Spoons viewer, too, but there were no crushes involved in that.

There are other references that amused me.

I watched a lot of YouTube videos of cute geeky girls playing ‘80s cover tunes on ukuleles. Technically, this wasn’t part of my research, but I had a serious cute-geeky-girls-playing-ukuleles fetish that I can neither explain nor defend.

Page 63

The only cute-geeky-girls-playing-ukuleles that I’m familiar with are of course Molly Lewis and Kate Micucci, but I haven’t delved deeply enough into their back catalogs to know if they’re the ones Cline is referring to.

The whole book is built on 80s references and deep descriptions of the movies, video games, music, games of the era. It’s clear that Cline loves this stuff, and who can blame him? They 80s were an awesome time.

Sometime the references got to be a little too much for me, though. It wasn’t their volume that got to me. It was the way Cline explained all of them in a little too much detail. I’m undecided if I consider this a flaw of the book. It may have gotten to me because it feels like he was explaining stuff that was completely obvious.  The reason it’s obvious, though, is because I grew up with all this stuff.  Perhaps that level of explanation is important for those who were not children of the 80s. The deep dive did take me out and make me roll my eyes a few times.

While the book may not have been as awesome as The Empire Strikes Back, is at least as awesome as Return of the Jedi. It’s a great book to read, with a few flaws, and I look forward to Cline’s next book. I also look forward to the “Ready Player One” movie, should it come out.  If you’re a fan of light CyberPunk, or of 80s references, don’t miss this book.

Pawn Stars and business lessons

Have you seen Pawn Stars?  It's basically a white-trash Antiques Road Show, but is oddly fascinating.

It's a reality show about a pawn shop in Las Vegas.  The folks on the show primarily come into the store to sell their items rather than pawn them. People sell family heirlooms, garage sale finds, and assorted things they have lying around the house.

There are reasons to watch it beyond the normal reality show train wreck -- the business lessons.  There are key things to learn about negotiation.

Don't name your price first.

When Rick buys anything from the customer, he always starts the negotiation by saying, "How much to do you want for it?" The customer names his price, and then Rick proceeds to talk them down.  Even if it was a price Rick was prepared to pay, he uses that as the benchmark to talk them down. The customer is never going to get the price they name.

Know the value of your item.  

Many times Rick has to bring in an expert to appraise and item because he's not familiar with it.  In some of those cases, the customer has an idea of the value, but is often wrong.  The only expert involved is the one Rick brings in.  Sometimes they're both surprised by the response.  Other times Rick might not even need and expert, but the customer has no idea what he even wants for the item.  Throughout most of the exchanges, the customer is at a disadvantage, and Rick controls the negotiation.  If you don't know they value of your item, there's no way you can be sure your're getting a good deal.

Be prepared to walk away.

Most of the time customers aren't in a position to say no.  Rick will often say no to a customer if he doesn't think he can sell an item.  Many of the customers are not willing to walkaway with  nothing. They will take as little at 10% of what they wanted sometimes.  If you can't walk away, you can't get a good deal.

Understand what your negotiating partner wants.

Rick almost always understands what his customers really need. They either need to quickly get money or they need to get stuff out of their house. His customers don't always understand Rick's needs.  Rick will tell customer what he claims he needs.  He needs to buy the item, at a low enough price to resell it. Based on the prices he cites, he expects to make 75% to 100% markup on the items he buys. And he expects items will often take a while to sell.  Customers are surprised at this, and they are not prepared to negotiate accordingly.  Whether or not that's a reasonable margin  may be a point to argue, but if the customer doesn't understand that, they are not as prepared.

There's a lot to learn about negotiating in this show. You can also learn some interesting things about the trinkets people bring in to sell.  And, of course, it's just plain good entertainment.

Are you a fan of the show? What lessons do you think viewers can learn from it?

Defending the Half Time Show

The Black Eye Peas Super Bowl half time show has been roundly panned by professional and amateur critics. The Twitter stream while it was on going was more entertaining than the performance itself.  I'll leave the rest of the piling on to others.

There was an element of the show that I loved. The illuminated dancers were fantastic.  Before the light turned on, I thought the juxtaposition of the hundreds of white jump suited dancers shortly following the Motorola Xoom ad was a happy accident.  Then they turned on the lights and the performance changed.

While many mocked the flashy lights, I really enjoyed the aesthetic.  Perhaps I had too much Tron on my mind, but there is a beauty in the lights.

It also demonstrates how portable power and lighting is changing our world.  The LEDs that power dance uniforms power traffic lights, indicator lights on electronics, decorative Christmas rope lights, and more.

The futuristic look and feel combined with the music is hopeful and optimistic, unlike many of the dystopian future visions we often see, such as the one Motorola depicted.

There may be some silliness about it.  Most things that are happy and fun do have an element of that.  But that's okay.

There is a beauty in the kitsch of the light dancers.  And for that reason, I'm glad I kept watching the half time show.

Shatner-Palooza: Shat My Dad Says

Okay, that’s not quite the name of the show (nor is it my joke), but it should be.

$#*! My Dad Says is the only TV show based on a Twitter feed. It sounds like an idea as brilliant as turning insurance company pitch-cavemen into a TV show. But this one actually works. Kinda.

The original Twitter feed was one guy tweeting random saying his near senile father says, and it was pretty funny.

Here’s how CBS describes the TV show:

$#*! MY DAD SAYS (pronounced "Bleep My Dad Says"), based on the popular Twitter feed by Justin Halpern, stars Emmy Award winner William Shatner as Ed Goodson, a forthright and opinionated dad who relishes expressing his unsolicited and often wildly politically incorrect observations to anyone within earshot. Nobody is safe from Ed's rants, including his sons, Henry, a struggling writer-turned-unpaid blogger; and Vince, the meek half of a husband/wife real estate duo with domineering Bonnie. When Henry finds he can no longer afford to pay rent, Ed reveals a soft spot and invites Henry to move in with him. Henry agrees, knowing that the verbal assault will not abate and now there will be no escape. Describing their father/son relationship is tricky, but Ed will easily come up with a few choice words.

The first few episodes of the series were pretty rough. There story lines and script were weak. The show really was really just a delivery mechanism for one-liners from Shatner.

In the ensuing weeks it got better, and the characters got a little more depth. The stories are more interesting now.

There are still problems with the show.

From a technical perspective, there’s something odd about the audio, and it’s likely intentional. When the secondary characters deliver their lines they sound like they do on any other show. Shatner’s lines, however, have greater depth and timbre. He uses a velvet delivery that sounds like he is sitting in front of a professional microphone in a radio station delivering late night dedications. The sound quality is significantly different. His lines carry more weight.

And that’s the way the show is. While the story is getting better and it by necessity focuses on Shatner’s character, the show is fundamentally unbalanced. There’s no way to do the show without focusing on Shatner’s character, but Shatner is in a league apart from the other actors in a way that is distracting. Perhaps a stonger secondary cast would balance the show better. Of course, I’m not sure if that’s the fault of the actors, the script, or the direction.

The interesting thing is that Shatner is both the stongest aspect of the show and the weakest. The show is entirely dependent on Shatner. I can’t imagine anyone else playing that role. It’s really perfect casting. At the same time if the show continues to revolve around Shatner, and I don’t think there’s anyway it can’t, the joke is going to get old. Shatner so overwhelms the script that it’s really a casting problem.

In other words, Shatner is both the Alpha and the Omega of $#*! My Dad Says

The parts that are really weak are balanced by the parts that are really awesome. It averages out to good.

Thoughts on The Walking Dead

I hadn't planned on watching this show because my TiVo Season Pass list is already mind boggling long.  Plus, with the level of hype, I just didn't think it would be all that good. I expected it to be cancelled inside of 6 episodes.

But then the reviews came in.  And it wasn't just random reviews, they came from people's whose opinions I respect.  So I decided to give it a shot.

Jon was the one who let me know I could watch episode 1 (and ONLY episode 1) for free online.  You can watch it right here:





I hooked up my laptop to my 46" LCD through the HDMI port.  It looked fantastic in HD on the big screen (makes me rethink cable a little).

You can find more in-depth reviews elsewhere, so I'll just leave a few thoughts here.

• It's a well executed horror show.
• The tension and scary moments come not from things jumping out at character all the time, but that they usually don't. Yet they do often enough so you can never tell if you're just being teased. They keep a high-level of tension throughout the show and really pay it off at the end.
• It is a bit gory.  Not excessively so, but it is a zombie show.  They dead are walking about and getting shot in the head.  That's naturally going to be somewhat gross.
• Half a body crawling around?  That intense.
• Geez, dude.  Find some damn shoes.

I'm pretty excited to see where it goes.

Shatner-Palooza: Police Squad

I remember watching Police Squad as a kid.  The bits of it that I see as a (mostly) grown up make it seem even more awesome and awful now. Here are the opening credits from an episode Shatner appeared in:



You can also follow the link here.

Shampoo Commercial

Here's a touching shampoo commercial making its way around the 'net.  It's four minutes long and is pretty powerful.  The cinematography is beautiful and the directing is crisp. It looks gorgeous and crams quite a bit of story telling in there.  It may be a bit melodramatic, but I enjoy some good melodrama.

If we had more commercials like this in the US, maybe the ink wouldn't have worn off my Tivo fast forward button.


 Here is the link.

Weird Al, Eat It, and Japan

Here's Weird Al performing on a Japanese TV show.  If you're not sure which one is Al, he's the least weird person in the video.

Don't miss the lobster towards the end.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CXDgTo9Nsio&feature=channel

Shatner-Palooza: Weird Al on Raw Nerve

Shatner's recent interview of music and comedy legend Weird Al Yankovic on Shatner's Raw Nerve was fairly interesting, largely because of Al. The show didn't turn into the same trainwreck it often does.

Never forgetting that the interview is about him as much as the guest, Shatner got an early start talking about his show Rescue 911.  He talked about the letters they got from people telling how the show saved their lives. They estimate that 3,000 lives were saved by the existence of that show.  To drive the point home, Shatner told the story of a familly.

The mother was feeling sick, and so the father decided to take her to the hospital.  They left their young children home alone.  While waiting in the hospital for treatment, Rescue 911 was on (isn't that like watching an airplane disaster movie while on an airplane?).  They told the story of how some people were saved from Carbon Monoxide poisoning.  The mother turned to the husband and said that the symptoms they just described were her symptoms.  Realizing their children were in danger, the rushed home in time to save the unconscious children from a Carbon Monoxide death.  Everyone was fine.

It was great story about how a Shatner TV show saved lives. The Carbon Monoxide death could have been terrible, but because of Shatner's show they had a happy ending.

Shatner told this story to ask Weird Al about his story.  This one:

Weird Al interview clip.

It's the story about how his parents died of Carbon Monoxide poisoning while Al was on tour.

Classy move, Shatner.

One of the problems with Heroes

I'm still watching Heroes, even though most people seem to have given up on it.  I still watch it because I like the concepts, even though I'm often not a fan of the execution. And I don't imagine it will be back next season. Plus, CSI: Miami is a much worse show and I'm still watching thatn.

My latest (perhaps fever-inspired) theory about what's wrong with the show is that the writers are not fans of geek culture.  The Geek/Nerd core of fans could drive the show to success, yet those (often fervent fans in other endeavors) have lost patience.  The writers may be normal people -- trying to appeal to a normal base of fans.  But they are alienating those he make the whole super hero genre possible, and who sustained it for years.

My theory is based on the main geek character -- Hiro Nakamura.  Hiro, with his ability to bend time and space, travel when and where he wants, pause time, and basically alter the history of the world, is potentially the most powerful of the Heroes.  Perhaps it was a mistake to give him that much power to begin with, and since then they have a made a half-hearted attempt to nerf him.

With all this power, though, his primary role in the story is comic relief.  The play him as a naive, bumbling character who gets into all sorts of wacky scenarios with his sidekick, Ando. 

Hiro could be a powerful representation of geek-power.  He could still be naive.  He could still try to fight the good fight.  He can still quote comic books.  But if they take him seriously, he could become a much richer character which would definitely improve the story.

If they are trying to appeal to a geek/nerd fan base, then does it make sense that the character that fan base could relate to most closely is the one they treat as a joke?

Are their core fans going to relate most to the challenges of a patrician-born EMT, or an angst-ridden cheerleader struggling with her sexuality?

The other character that could have had some geek cred is the one with the engineers eye for, and obsession with, how things work.  And that's the guy they chose as the super villain. 

Perhaps if the writers had more respect for geek culture they would see the potential in a character like Hiro.  He doesn't need to be a joke. And then, maybe, the show would have a few more fans.

Or maybe I'll have a different view once the aspirin kicks in.

I'm with Coco

The image comes from ImWithCoco.com.  The creator encourages fans to use it around the web.  I found it after reading a Tweet from Rainn Wilson (Dwight Shrute, from NBC's The Office).

If you haven't heard, six years ago, Jay Leno planned to retire from the Tonight Show in 2009.  Conan O'Brien would take over the 11:35 PM institution, following in the talented footsteps of Jack Paar, Steve Allen, and Johnny Carson. Conan passed up other lucrative opportunities because of this plan, contract, and commitment.

Apparently Jay decided he didn't want to go last year.  He began undermining Conan almost from the start, with his silly 10:PM show that cannibalized Conan's ratings, indicated NBC gave up on prime time, and cost local news stations a fortune.  But that wasn't enough.

Now, Jay apparently wants his old job back and NBC is content to treat Conan quite shabbily in order to appease Jay.

NBC already let the brilliant David Letterman get away.  Now they are trying to chase away the future again, but doing this to Conan.

Today, Conan released a statement and announced he would not do the Tonight Show at 12:05:

Last Thursday, NBC executives told me they intended to move the Tonight Show to 12:05 to accommodate the Jay Leno Show at 11:35. For 60 years the Tonight Show has aired immediately following the late local news. I sincerely believe that delaying the Tonight Show into the next day to accommodate another comedy program will seriously damage what I consider to be the greatest franchise in the history of broadcasting.The Tonight Show at 12:05 simply isn't the Tonight Show.

He went on to say that pushing the show back to keep him on the air would not be fair to his own replacment, Jimmy Fallon.

He mentions a few current and former members of the latenight community.

• Jimmy Fallon
• David Letterman
• Johnny Carson
• "My predecessor"

You can see the letter here.  It's a great read. What strikes me is that even though Conan has chosen to go public with his anger and animosity, he's done it in such a way that he is still a class act.

Jay Leno, on the other hand, comes across as the 21 year old guy who never went to college, and still hangs out at the local high school to pick up 17 year olds.  Let it go, Jay.

What do I want to see happen now?

I think is would be awesome to see David Letterman, who has his own issues with NBC over how they treated him when Jay originally go the tonight show, negotiate an early end to his contract so Conan can take over Letterman's show, and then smash Jay in the ratings.  I could see Letterman doing this just to mess with NBC and Jay Leno.

It may be more likely that Conan goes to FOX, but this would be an awesome way for Letterman to go out.

Original Galactica on NBC

I have one of those ring tones that most people under 30 don't recognize.  When someone calls, and I'd don't have things set to vibrate, the strains of majestic music burst forth from my cell phone. Well, maybe burst is optimisic.  The notes more trickle out of my Samsung A900 (I know, it's time for new phone).

The tense chase is on, and the mind of sci-fi fans from the 70s drift back to that powerful theme as Galactica leads the colonists on a quest for freedom.

The original Battlestar Galactica theme reminds of those days when I longed to pilot a Colonial Viper. 

So I was thrilled to stumble across the NBC Classics site.

You can now watch  full episodes of the original BSG, the original Bionic Woman, the original Knight Rider, the original A-Team, the original Miami Vice, and a few shows they haven't remade yet.

NBC early on "got it" when it came to online video with their current shows, and now it's great to see them bringing back these classics for free. 

If your craving hour-long 70s and 80s drama, check out the site.  Now you can finally satisfy your jones-ing for more Simon and Simon.

Shatner-Palooza: Nimoy on TJ Hooker

This is a 6 minute version of an episode of William Shatner's TJ Hooker.  Leonard Nimoy guest stars as Hooker's old partner.  About half way though, he gets to punch Shatner.  It's awesome to see the two of them together.

And you still get the whole story of the episode in just a few minutes.  Which demonstrates how little content is in many shows.

You can also see the video here.

Changes for Heroes?

It's been a long day, and I'm a little slow on my TiVo fast forward button.  I had to actually watch a commercial.  It would have been appalling under most circumstances, but this, well.  This was different.

Sure, it was still appalling, but for a different reason.  This commercial featured a shockingly exuberant Greg Grundberg, better known to many as Matt Parkman, the powerful telepath from Heroes. Grundberg was bouncing around the stage of a game show promoting the McDonald's Monopoly game.

So does this "in your face" ad mean that Grundberg is leaving Heroes?  Or does it mean he looked at the ratings and realized he was not going to retire on this show?

Or did he look at upcoming scripts and think being a fake game show host for McDonalds was his only chance to preserve some dignity or acting integrity.

Or is this just the latest indignity Sylar is inflicting on poor Matt Parkman?

One of the annoying things about Heroes is that they take the characters with the most potent powers -- the greatest potential to have a major change for the better (Matt Parkman and Hiro Nakamura) and just strip them down, humiliate them, or play them for comic relief. They are squandering some great opportunities with these characters.

Maybe switching to McDonalds isn't such a bad idea.

FlashForward seems like a winner

I was skeptical at first, but FlashForward is winning me over. This ABC serial drama has an interesting premise, reasonably compelling plot, and a story line that's not too convoluted.  My enthusiasm is mildly dampened by the twist at the end of tonight's episode (don't worry, no spoilers) which seemed a bit too contrived but the show is good enough that I'll let it go.

The premise of FlashForward is that one day, everyone, everywhere in the world suddenly past out for 2 minutes and 17 seconds.  While the were passed out millions died as suddenly out of control cars wrecked, 800+ airplanes crashed, and similar problems popped up when people who operate machinery were as unconscious as everyone else.

But people weren't quite unconscious.  They actually saw 2 minutes and 17 seconds of a date 6 months in the future.  People saw where they were and what they were doing.  They ended up with a memory of the future. When they woke up, they corroborated there stories with one another.

So now the show is about how people deal with this glimpse of the future and the investigators who try to figure out what happened.

I've seen a lot of Star Trek in my time (I know -- shocking, isn't it) and time travel is often badly done with temporal loops and figure 8s that just leave me scratching my head.  Heroes has just gotten awful in its time travel stuff (I'm pulling for Hiro Nakamuara to succeed at what he wants but he's got to stop with the lousy year jumping -- it was a cructch for the show that has atrophied the leg.)

But FlashForward is getting it right so far.

You can debate whether this is a time travel show or not.I find is most interesting as a meditation on predestination.

Now that you know what your future holds, what do you do?  If you don't like it, can you do things now to make sure that future doen't come to pass or are you stuck with it regardless of what you do?  If it is a future you want, can you consciously do things to bring it about?  Or since you know the future, can you not worry about doing things to bring it about because it will happen regardless?

If it's not the future that you want, you may try to change things.  But is it possible to change things and alter the future at all? Or will all attempts to avoid an outcome?

When people know the future, are they compelled to do things they might not otherwise do just to ensure that future comes about?

In that sense, it calls to mind some of the ideas from Bad Monkees -- Omne Mundum Facimus  or "We all make the World."

These are the questions science fiction often tries to answer regarding time travel.  FlashForward is asking them the right way.

So did April 29, 2010 happen the way it did, or did it happen differently than it did?  I imagine we'll get some answers before then.

I can see them coming.


Oh, and be sure to visit The FlashForward Experience and connect with Facebook.  It's pretty trippy.

Why do I watch CSI: Miami

Note:  Ranty SPOILERS ahead.  If you haven't watched the latest CSI: Miami, and don't want to know what happens, stop reading now.







I tend to get compulsive about certain things.  Once I start something, I feel the need to see it through to the bitter end (which may be why I'm still with Entrecard, but that's another matter altogether). I have trouble walking away from things like TV shows, projects, and more until they're done.

And once CSI: Miami cancelled is I'll likely be relieved.  I don't defend this show. It has some comic moments, and the over the top mellow drama is mildly entertaining.  And David Caruso gives the show some flair, but on balance, it's a bad show.  The story lines are way too convoluted.

Tonight's episode was a good example.  Three guys died on a beach volleyball court in a way that would make Rube Goldberg shake his head in shame.  The killer followed these steps:

1. Cut the heads off golf clubs.
2. Tape a bunch of headless golf clubs together to make a long lighting rod.
3. Attach the rod to a shack on the beach. 
4. Run a cable from the rod, under the sand, down hundreds or thousands of feet of beach to the volleyball court.
5. Fray the end of the cable for maximum exposure.
6. Spread copper sulfate all over the beach sand to make it more conductive.
7. Wait for a lighting strike on a sunny morning.

And wouldn't you know it? Lightening struck only once, and only during the game (not in the hours leading up to it).  It struck just when the right folks happened to be standing there.

When the cops investigate, the see a cable, and what to they do with this visibly frayed cable in the middle of the crime scene?  They pick it up.

And of course no one tripped or fell over the cable in all that time leading up to it.  Even in the heat of a Volleyball  match.

I'm sorry, but this is too stupid to even appreciate on the level of silliness.

And yet, I'll keep watching this thing until CBS has the good sense to shoot it.  Surely they can replace it with something better.  How about another Criminal Minds?  Or even a new Friends spin off called Central Perk West featuring Gunther moving to Seattle?

Star Trek Anti-Drug PSA

Apparently, William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, and Nichelle Nichols reunited in the 70s to record an anti-drug PSA.  The video is a collection of still a fan applied to the audio.





Fascinating.

New Idol judge

The NY Daily News (and nearly ever other media outlet ) is reporting that Ellen DeGeneres will replace Paula Abdul as a judge on American Idol.

"I'm thrilled to be the new judge on 'American Idol'" DeGeneres said in a statement Wednesday night. "I've watched since the beginning, and I've always been a huge fan. So getting this job is a dream come true, and think of all the money I'll save from not having to text in my vote."

...More

I consider this theoretically good news. Ellen is great. She's funny and seems genuinely nice.

And I get kick out of Idol. I used to watch it regularly (Bo Bice got robbed), but lately, there's just so much of it. I Tivo it and build up a bunch of episodes.

But American Idol is one of those shows I like enough to to Tivo, but don't like enough to actually watch the episodes I record. And eventually Tivo gives up and erases them.

What shows do you like well enough to Tivo but not well enough to watch?

Amused and Apalled

Satire is best when your not sure at first if it is satire. But what if you are convinced it's satire and then -- just maybe -- it's actually real?

The GF sent me a link to this product:


Yes. That is the Snuggie for Dogs.

You may recall the original Snuggie. It dominated the night time airwaves a few months back. It's a blanket with sleeves. It's a great purchase for the person who can't figure out how to wear their robe backwards. I guess I can see the appeal, though. The commercials do make it sounds compelling.

But now someone may have actually made a blanket with sleeves for dogs.

When I started watching this, I thought it was a great satire of the commercial for the regular Snuggie. But now I'm not so sure. The order form and other links look legit.

I'm afraid -- so very afraid -- that this might actually be real.

Please, restore my faith in humanity and tell me this is fake. Or at least that he product bombed.

Because I don't know if I want to live in a world where the Snuggie for Dogs qualifies as a million dollar idea.

"The Closer" on its way out?

I just got into "The Closer" last year. And it's a shame to think the show may be on its way out.

Kyra Sedgwick plays Chief Brenda Leigh Johnson of the LAPD, and recent Atlanta transplant. The character's commanding presence lurks just beneath her slight frame, gentle accent, and unerring politeness. Underestimated by many, Johnson control her squad with a tight grip.

I like how the squad is a mix of people with different levels of experience and skill. Johnson job is not just to find criminals. She's also a manager. She has to deal with budgets, employee development, discipline, and the other miscellaneous stuff that goes along with being a boss. It's the stuff that most shows skip over and is refreshing to see.

We also get to see Johnson as flawed (or normal) person. She struggles with her own personal issues at home and her compulsive snacking. She spends most of her day slightly overwhelmed, but gets through it with determination and tight focus on what she needs to do.

The other members of the cast are great too, but the one that really struck me was G. W. Bailey who play Lt. Provenza. He seemed familiar, but I just thought it was because he was playing the close-to-retirement-cop archetype. It turns out Bailey was also part of the M*A*S*H ensemble. He play Sgt Rizzo of the 4077th motor pool. Nice to seem him get promoted.

So why do I say the show is on it's way out? Charlie/Charlene. This character joins this rather dubious list.

Cousin Oliver (Brady Bunch)
Olivia (Cosby)
Cousin Pam (Cosby)
Andrew (Family Ties)
Sam (Dif'rent Strokes)
Chrissy and Luke (Growing Pains)

Like many shows before, The Closer has added a new kid to the cast to bring in additional story lines. Since it is a drama, The Closer may escape the dreaded Oliver effect, but seeing this new kid on the show makes me very nervous.