Book Review 72: Ready Player One

Going outside is highly overrated.
-Anorak’s Almanac, Chapter 17, Verse 32

One day last fall, I glanced over at my Twitter feed and saw that Wil Wheaton (@WilW) was in Seattle that evening for a reading at the Elliott Bay Book Company. He would join author Ernie Cline (@erniecline)  to talk about Cline’s first novel -- Ready Player One. I  had to go.

It was fun evening. The author Q&A was awesome.Wil did the reading and was also awesome. I bought my copy of the book and got in line for the signing at the end of the event. I chatted with Wil and Ernie about my Atari shirt and their dealings with ThinkGeek. If you get the chance to see them, I highly recommend it. And by “them” I mean Wil and Ernie. Or ThinkGeek.  Either way.

Eventually, I worked through my reading queue and cracked open Ready Player One while having dinner at the Nine Fine Irishmen in Las Vegas during CES 2012. The book was quite good, but not quite as good as I hoped.  There are lots of things to love about it, but the book does have some flaws. That’s even more disappointing because, given the subject matter and the author’s presence at the reading, I wanted this to be the most awesome-est book I’d seen in years. It’s not. It’s still good, just not as awesome as I had hoped.

Still, if you’re a fan of 80s Geek Culture, you’ll likely enjoy the book.

The story takes place in a dystopian future where the Earth has suffered major environmental collapse.  The divide between the rich and poor is wider than ever. The most popular form of entertainment is the virtual world of the OASIS.  That basic setup is nothing new; we’ve seen it from William Gibson, Neal Stephenson, Melissa Scott, Richard Morgan, and more. While the basic scene may be familiar, Cline takes it in a different way.

The OASIS is the heart of the story. It is a virtual land, not unlike Second Life or World of Warcraft on a much larger scale.  You have an avatar that you design, buy clothes for, equip with weapons and special gear, and then you interact with other characters on different planets and virtual locations in the OASIS. Where you are in the real world is irrelevant.  You put on your goggles, headphones, gloves, and sometimes your special suit, login, and you’re walking and flying around the OASIS.

The story kicks of with the death of James Halliday, a game programmer, entrepreneur, inventory of the OASIS world, and child of the 80s.  

At first, I couldn’t understand why the media was making such a big deal of the billionaire’s death. After all, the people of Planet Earth had other concerns. The ongoing energy crisis. Catastrophic climate change. Widespread famine, poverty, and disease. Half a dozen wars. You know: “dogs and cats living together . . . mass hysteria!” Normally, the newsfeeds didn’t interrupt everyone’s interactive sitcoms and soap operas unless something really major had happened. Like the outbreak of some new killer virus, or another major city vanishing in a mushroom cloud. Big stuff like that. As famous as he was, Halliday’s death should have warranted only a brief segment on the evening news, so the unwashed masses could shake their heads in envy when the newscasters announced the obscenely large amount of money that would be doled out to the rich man’s heirs.

Page 1

Halliday’s death is momentous because of his will. He leaves his company shares and all his wealth to a gamer who finds the Easter Egg. Basically, he hid puzzles throughout the virtual world. The player who solves the puzzles and wins the game gets everything.

This draws individuals, teams, and organizations who all want to win the prize and control the OASIS for their own purposes.  One of those egg hunters, or “Gunters” is Wade Watts (AKA Parzival) our narrator -- a poor, orphaned teenager who’d long been an OASIS denizen and is obsessed with the 80s.  Halliday is his hero. He lives through the crushing depression that many teenagers face.  But he takes on the quest.

He’s got the background for it because he identifies so much with Halliday.  When a reporter ask Halliday’s former friend and business partner for tips, he offers this advice.

“As the person who knew James Halliday the best, do you have any advice for the millions of people who are now searching for his Easter egg? Where do you think people should start looking for it?”

“I think Jim made that pretty obvious,” Morrow replied, tapping a finger against his temple, just as Halliday had in the Anorak’s Invitation video. “Jim always wanted everyone to share his obsessions, to love the same things he loved. I think this contest is his way of giving the entire world an incentive to do just that.”

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As is often the case, completing the quest isn’t what the character needs. The quest itself matters. That was certainly the case for our narrator.

Then the Hunt for Halliday’s Easter egg began. That was what saved me, I think. Suddenly I’d found something worth doing. A dream worth chasing. For the last five years, the Hunt had given me a goal and purpose. A quest to fulfill. A reason to get up in the morning. Something to look forward to.

The moment I began searching for the egg, the future no longer seemed so bleak.

Page 19

Our narrator pursue the challenge like many geeky teenage boys shyly falls for a girl and rival.

This is an interesting story bit. Cline writes about these feelings in way that feels really familiar from back in those days.

I didn’t, of course. My whole relationship with Art3mis was in defiance of all common sense. But I couldn’t help falling for her. Somehow, without my realizing it, my obsession with finding Halliday’s Easter egg was gradually being supplanted by my obsession with Art3mis.

Page 178

I’d heard all the cliched warnings about the perils of falling for someone you only knew online, but I ignored them. I decided that whoever Art3mis really was, I was in love with her. I could feel it, deep in the soft. chewy caramel center of my being.

And then one night, like a complete idiot, I told her how I felt.

Page 179

I especially like that last line.  It feels right in that context.  The other interesting thing here is the way Cline tells the story. The whole book is told in flashback.  Parzival tells us he’s going to tell Art3mis how he feels and that it will go badly several pages before we actually see that encounter.  Going into many sections of the book, we already have a sense of what is going to happen, but Cline still builds a feeling of suspense around it.

Why does he finally tell her?  Well, Cyndi Lauper has a little something to do with it.

Her avatar lost its human form and dissolved into a pulsing amorphous blob that changed its size and color in synch with the music. I selected the mirror partner option on my dance software and began to do the same. My avatar’s limbs and torso began to flow and spin like taffy, encircling Art3mis, while strange color patterns flowed and shifted across my skin. I looked like Plastic Man, if he were tripping out of his mind on LSD. Then everyone else on the dance floor also began to shape-shift, melting into prismatic blobs of light. Soon, the center of the club looked like some otherworldly lava lamp.

When the song ended, Og took a bow, then queued up a slow song. “Time after Time” by Cyndi Lauper. All around us, avatars began to pair up.

Page 185

This section of the book is revealing in a number of ways. I’ve ready criticism of the book that says Cline is an immature writer and that when he writes about emotions and feelings, it all comes across as juvenile and immature. I do get that sense throughout most of the book, but I’m not sure if that a limitation of Clines skill or an example of it. The book should sound like a teenager wrote it because it’s told from a teenager’s first person point-of-view. 

This section is also interesting because it plays with the OASIS world a bit.  In the passage, Cline shows us just some of the things that are possible in the digital world.  You can defy gravity. You’re form can convert into blobs of light. Avatars can interact in ways that would be completely impossible in the physical world.  And if your avatar doesn’t know how to dance, just  add some software.

The huge open space in the center of the sphere served as the club’s zero-gravity “dance floor.” You reached it simply by jumping off the ground, like Superman taking flight, and then swimming through the air, into the spherical zero-g “groove zone.”

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SInce the OASIS is only 1s and 0s on servers, it can be infinitely big. Adding more space is as simple as writing some code.

Early in the Facebook days, you may remember friends giving on another virtual sheep and other goods.  Users could pay for fancier ones. Games like Farmville and Pet Society let you pay real cash to get fancier farm equipment and furniture.  And what do you actually get for your money? Nothing but an automated entry in a database.  “Items” are simply conjured out of code, and if the game goes away so does all that merchandise.  

The virtual world of the OASIS works in much the same way, and Haliday’s GSS made a fortune on it.

In addition to the billions of dollars that GSS raked in selling land that didn’t actually exist, they made a killing selling virtual objects and hides. The OASIS became such an integral part of people’s day-to-day social lives that users were more than willing to shell out real money to buy accessories for their avatars: clothing, furniture, houses, flying cars. magic swords and machine guns. These items were nothing but ones and zeros stored on the OASIS servers, but they were also status symbols. Most items only cost a few credits, but since they cost nothing for GSS to manufacture, it was all profit. Even in the throes of an ongoing economic recession, the OASIS allowed Americans to continue engaging in their favorite pastime: shopping.

Page 59

There are thousands of worlds in the OASIS. The world where Parzival confesses his feeling to Art3mis is called Neo Noir.

There were hundreds of cyberpunk-themed worlds spread throughout the OASIS, but Neo Noir was one of the largest and oldest. Seen from orbit, the planet was a shiny onyx marble covered in overlapping spider- webs of pulsating light. It was always night on Neo Noir, the world over, and its surface was an uninterrupted grid of interconnected cities packed with impossibly large skyscrapers. Its skies were filled with a continuous stream of flying vehicles whirring through the vertical cityscapes, and the streets below teemed with leather-clad NPCs and mirror-shaded avatars, all sporting high-tech weaponry and subcutaneous implants as they spouted city-speak straight out of Neuromancer.

Page 181-182

Because of the ability to equip avatars and the scope of the universe, there are still differences between the Haves and Have Nots, even in the OASIS. And early challenge for Parzival is simply to figure out how to get to different parts of the OASIS without any money.

The kids who didn’t own ships would either hitch a ride with a friend or stampede to the nearest transport terminal, headed for some offworld dance club, gaming arena, or rock concert. But not me. I wasn’t going anywhere. I was stranded on Ludus, the most boring planet in the entire OASIS.

The Ontologically Anthropocentric Sensory Immersive Simulation was a big place.

Page 48

So I remained stuck at school. I felt like a kid standing in the world’s greatest video arcade without any quarters, unable to do anything but walk around and watch the other kids play.

Page 51

As Parzival figures out ways around the limitations, he devotes himself full time to hunting the egg.  He spends more and more time in the OASIS.  Aside from basic biological needs, why leave?  Everything he needs can be delivered to his home. All his friends are on the OASIS, and he can even earn money there.

My apartment was on the forty-second floor, number 4211. The security lock mounted outside required another retinal scan. Then the door slid open and the interior lights switched on. There was no furniture in the cube-shaped room, and only one window. I stepped inside, closed the door, and locked it behind me. Then I made a silent vow not to go outside again until I had completed my quest. I would abandon the real world altogether until I found the egg.

Page 166

Capitalism would inch forward, without my actually having to interact face-to-face with another human being. Which was exactly how I preferred it, thank you.

Page 191

Cline opens one of the chapters with Groucho Marx prescient thoughts on the matter:

I’m not crazy about reality, but it’s still the only place to get a decent meal.

Groucho Marx

Page 167

One of the most popular features of the book is all the 80s and pop-culture references.  Parzival has a series of videos running on his “channel” within the OASIS for others to watch.

I pulled up my programming grid and made a few changes to my evening lineup. I cleared away the episodes of Riptide and Misfits of Science I’d programmed and dropped in a few back-to-back flicks starring Gamera, my favorite giant flying turtle. I thought they should be real crowd pleasers. Then, to finish off the broadcast day, I added a few episodes of Silver spoons.

Page 202

That stuff really resonates with me. Misfits of Science is where I developed my crush on Courtney Cox. I was never an A-Team fan, but I loved Riptide with its pink helicopters. I like the show even more when they added June Chadwick to the caste in the last season (I developed my crush on her during V: The Series).  Gamera was always my favorite Godzilla monster. I mean, come on, he flies by pulling his legs into his shell and turning his leg holes into jet engines. That’s awesome. I was a regular Silver Spoons viewer, too, but there were no crushes involved in that.

There are other references that amused me.

I watched a lot of YouTube videos of cute geeky girls playing ‘80s cover tunes on ukuleles. Technically, this wasn’t part of my research, but I had a serious cute-geeky-girls-playing-ukuleles fetish that I can neither explain nor defend.

Page 63

The only cute-geeky-girls-playing-ukuleles that I’m familiar with are of course Molly Lewis and Kate Micucci, but I haven’t delved deeply enough into their back catalogs to know if they’re the ones Cline is referring to.

The whole book is built on 80s references and deep descriptions of the movies, video games, music, games of the era. It’s clear that Cline loves this stuff, and who can blame him? They 80s were an awesome time.

Sometime the references got to be a little too much for me, though. It wasn’t their volume that got to me. It was the way Cline explained all of them in a little too much detail. I’m undecided if I consider this a flaw of the book. It may have gotten to me because it feels like he was explaining stuff that was completely obvious.  The reason it’s obvious, though, is because I grew up with all this stuff.  Perhaps that level of explanation is important for those who were not children of the 80s. The deep dive did take me out and make me roll my eyes a few times.

While the book may not have been as awesome as The Empire Strikes Back, is at least as awesome as Return of the Jedi. It’s a great book to read, with a few flaws, and I look forward to Cline’s next book. I also look forward to the “Ready Player One” movie, should it come out.  If you’re a fan of light CyberPunk, or of 80s references, don’t miss this book.

Book Review 68: Rapture of the Geeks

This book is about the future of technology and the evolution, coevolution, and possible merger of humans and computers. Some futurists and AI (artificial intelligence) experts argue that this merger is imminent, and that we'll be raising Borg children (augmented humans) by the year 2030. Others predict that supercomputers will equal and then quickly surpass human intelligence as early as 2015. We are accustomed to using computers as powerful tools, and we resist any invitation to think of them as sentient beings—and with good reason: Computers, even computers as powerful as Firefly, still just kind of sit there, patiently humming, waiting for instructions from programs written by humans.

Page 3

Rapture for the Geeks: When AI Outsmarts IQ by Richard Dooling is a disappointing book.  I had high hopes for a book about the singularity and the powerful role technology has for our future as a species. What I read was more of a rambling introduction of the singularity, punctuated by pointless and inaccurate Microsoft rants, and a narrative that appears designed to show us just how clever the author is. It’s the only book I’ve read in the last 10-years that I seriously considered abandoning half way through. I don’t recommend it.

There are some interesting observations in the book. It’s all focused around the idea of the Singularity, popularized by futurist Ray Kurzweil.  The Singularity is the point at which computer processing power surpasses cerebral processing power and what the means for the human race. If a desktop computer can process data as fast as the human mind, does that mean computers are finally smarter than people? Can we then download our selves into computers and live forever?  These questions are more than just philosophical; they are likely to be serious, practical ones in a few years due to the advances in the computing power and the decline in computing cost.

If futurist Ray Kurzweil is right, by 2020 a computer with the computational capacity of a human brain will cost $1,000 and will be sitting on your desk. "

Page 77

This will raise the question of when do we stop being human and become a machine. At what point does a person become a Cyborg? Is it when they wear a Bluetooth head set? Is it when the have a prosthetic limb? Is it when they can control that limb with their neurons? Is it when they stop remembering things and instead rely on Google or their smart phone? The border between human and robot narrows each day.

The ancient Greeks used to ask, "How many grains of sand make a heap?" Start with one. Add another. And another. Is it a heap yet? We'll soon be asking the same thing about brain components. We have no problem thinking that someone with a hearing aid, cochlear implant, or a pacemaker is still human, but Steven Pinker takes it to the next level with a hypothetical that poses questions we may face within ten years:

"Surgeons replace one of your neurons with a microchip that duplicates its input-output functions. You feel and behave exactly as before. Then they replace a second one, and a third one, and so on, until more and more of your brain becomes silicon. Since each microchip does exactly what the neuron did, your behavior and memory never change. Do you even notice the difference? Does it feel like like dying? Is some other conscious entity moving in with you?''

Page 79

There is also an interesting and brief discussion about whether or not AI even makes sense. There’s and advantage to using people instead of machines.  

IBM has the scratch to pursue silicon brain making, but most governments and corporations probably would not spend hundreds of millions of dollars trying to duplicate a human brain. As roboticist Hans Moravec put it, "Why tie up a rare twenty-million-dollar asset to develop one ersatz human, when millions of inexpensive original model humans are available?"'' Or as rocket scientist Wernher von Braun put it in a different context: "Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor."

Page 81

For all the interesting discussions that sneak into the text, there are other passages where the author starts to raise an interesting point and then squanders it in excessive snarkiness. Here’s one example about the nature of idleness.

Several hundred years before the first click on the first hyperlink, Pascal wrote: "All human evil comes from a single cause, man's inability to sit still in a room." Little did he know at the time, but he had already built a primitive fossil of a machine (his calculator), which would one day lead to the mighty PC, which in turn would make it possible for us to sit still in a room for weeks, playing Enemy Territory: Quake Wars, drinking Mountain Dew Game Fuel, and eating Snickers bars.

Page 55

The silly gamer commentary doesn’t do anything to further his point.

Some of those types of comments seem mildly entertaining, but there are so many of them, they lose impact.  Here’s another example where his point gets lost in the silliness.

When you're in a panic to make an appointment and you can't find your car keys or your billfold or purse, do you instinctively begin formulating search terms you might use if the real world came with Google Desktop Search or a command-line interface? Whoever created the infinite miracle we glibly call "the Universe" Is surely at least as smart as the guys at Bell Labs and U.C. Berkeley who made UNIX. The UNIX creators wisely included a program "called Find, which enables you to instantly find any file on your system, especially any file in your "home" directory. Another command-line utility, Grep, enables you to find any line of text in any file on your entire system.' Mac OS X uses Spotlight to do essentially the same thing with spiffy visuals, and even Microsoft finally included "Instant Search" in Vista. So why can't the creator of the universe come up with a decent search box? Why can't you summon a command line and search your real-world home for "Honda car keys," and specify rooms in your house to search instead of folders or paths in your computer's home directory? It's a crippling design flaw in the real-world interface.

Page 5-6

This passage is interesting in a few ways. First, the comment about the “crippling design flaw” is an interesting way to look at things, but it takes too long to get there, and in context, if feels too forced and clever.  The passage also takes the opportunity to snipe at Microsoft unnecessarily. And all that obscures the point he is making and the story he is telling about technology.

And that brings me to commentary on Microsoft.  

Roughly 88 percent of scanned consumer PCs are found to contain some form of unwanted program (Trojan, system monitor, cookie, or adware).
...
Funny too how these infection rates hover at near 90 percent, which matches the percentage of computers running the Windows operating system. One might safely conclude that virtually all computers running a Windows operating system are infected if they are also connected to the Internet; it's just a question of whether the spyware compromises performance to the point where the user notices and becomes annoyed. Often the only cure is to erase your entire hard drive and reinstall the operating system. The Messaging Anti-Abuse Working Group also estimates that 80 to 85 percent of incoming e-mail is spam. An innocent Windows user might be tempted to inquire how Moore's law will soon produce computers that are smarter than people, while expensive, "intelligent" software programs running on today's latest, greatest hardware are still unable to stop spyware, or e-mails with the subject line "Visit the giant penis store',"

Page 122

It used to be all you needed was a computer and an Internet connection. Nowadays, an unprotected PC hooked to the Internet can be infected and hijacked within minutes, which means that now you need $200 worth of programs-firewall, antivirus, anti-spyware-before you can safely connect to the new, evolved, and improved Internet.

Page 123

The author loses credibility for a couple of reasons here. In addition to being full of cheap shots, there are a number of things that are just technically wrong.

1. Cookies are not malware. Does your PC remember remember your password or user ID?  You’re enjoying cookies.
2. System Monitor? Really?  A tool so you can see how your system is doing? Now, I know he describes these at “unwanted programs” and not malware, he does go on to describe them as infections.
3. A few sentences later he refers to all these elements as “spyware” which simply isn’t true.
4. He cites a survey showing 80-85% of incoming email is SPAM. while it may be true that 85% of the email on the ‘net is SPAM, the vast majority of that never gets to a user’s inbox. SPAM filters, even in 2008, were already quite effective and diverting it. Further, he buries this in a MSFT discussion. SPAM affects Linux and Apple users just as much.
5. He goes on to say you need to spend $200 to keep a Windows machine safe. Even in 2008, when he wrote the book that wasn’t true. There were plenty of free, high-quality tools to protect users that didn’t require them to spend anything.

It’s hard to take him seriously after such a discussion.

It’s a shame because there are some interesting points he tries to make in the book. His overly clever writing and anger at Microsoft significantly diminishes the quality of the book. There are plenty of other books out there for those who want to learn more about the Singularity.  Check those out instead.

Book Review 66: iWoz: How I invented the personal computer, co-founded Apple, and had fun doing it

I didn’t realize it at the time, but that day, Sunday, June 29, 1975, was pivotal. It was the first time in history anyone had typed a character on a keyboard and seen it show up on the screen right in front of them.

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Steve Wozniak’s memoir (co-authored by Gina Smith), “iWoz” is a great book for several reasons. It’s generally well written. It gives a nice overview of the history of the computer buisness in the 70s (and is a great compliment to Andy Grove’s, “Only the Paranoid Survive”), and it tells us a lot about Woz as a person. It’s a book with great geek appeal.

If you want to learn more about Apple’s design or marketing practices, this is a not the book for you. The recent Steve Jobs biography may be a better choice for that; Woz was largely done with Apple’s day-to-day operations when Apple became a design house. This book is more about the early days of the PC business and the evolution of electronics.

The biggest negative about this book is that at times Woz and coauthor Gina Smith seem to ramble or repeat things unnecessarily. While mildly annoying at times, this doesn’t really detract from my enjoyment of the book.

The thing that stands out most for me is how Woz can talk about how smart he is and how his inventions changed the entire industry and the world, and he does that without sounding arrogant or like he’s bragging. There is an innocent, matter-of-factness to his stories that is both amazing and charming. I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone else pull that off.

So right there in that bowling alley I suddenly had this cool new goal. I was going to go back and start thinking about my first design that was actually going to put characters on a TV set. I remember how, way back in high school, I wondered how, if I ever did a computer, I would ever be able to afford one that could ever display characters on a screen. That was unfathomable back then. But now, I knew, something was different.

Everything had changed.

Page 141

So I designed this game Breakout.

Page 144

That was amazing because back then color TVs operated with circuits a lot more complicated than any computer was back then. And the funny thing is, that very idea came to me in the middle of the night at that lab at Atari. I did no testing on it, but I filed it away in my memory, and eventually that was exactly how things like color monitors ended up on personal computers everywhere. Because of my wild idea that night.

page 147

Every computer before the Apple I had the front panel of switches and lights. Every computer since has had a keyboard and screen. That’s how huge my idea turned out.

Page 160

The Apple II was the first low-cost computer which, out of the box, you didn’t have to be a geek to use.

Page 188

Woz’s father was an engineer in the Bay-Area aerospace industry, and he encouraged his son to learn the field where transistors were still new and computers were mamoth things fed by punch cards.

Engineering wasn’t just a good living -- it was a calling. There was a beauty and elegance to electronics and engineering. Technology was an end in and of itself.

I so clearly remember him telling me that engineering was the highest level of importance you could reach in the world, that someone who could make electrical devices that do something good for people takes society to a new level. He told me that as a an engineer, you can change your world and change the ways of life for lots of people.

Page 16

And I came to that same view when I was very young, ten or maybe younger. Inside my head -- and this is what has really stayed with me -- I came to the view that basically, yes, technology is good and not bad.

People argue about this all the time, but I have no doubt about it at all. I believe technology moves us forward. Always.

Page 17

As Woz grew up, he quickly picked up on computer programming. This discussion is interesting in a couple of respects. One is that he grasps the technology so enthusiastically. The other is the way he breaks down digital technology to the basic math.

Here’s what was amazing to me back then. I thought to myself: Hey, at my current level of fifth-grade math, I am able to learn math used by a computer -- De Morgan’s Theorem, Boolean algebra. I mean, anyone could learn Boolen algebra and they wouldn’t even need a higher level of math than I already had in fifth grade. Computers -- were kind of simple, I discovered. And that blew me away. Computers -- which in my opinion were the most incredible things in the world, the most advanced technology there was, way above the head, above the understanding, of almost everyone -- were so simple a fifth grader like me could understand them! I loved that. I decided then that I wanted to do logic and computers for fun.I wasn’t sure if that was even possible.

Page 34

This is one of the things that many people overlook about computers -- they all work on very basic principals of math. They’re nothing but collections of light switches where everything is on or off. The entire digital world economy is based on this simple construct. And those switches will only do exactly what the user and programmer tell them today.

Woz continued to develop his skills in technology. He developed such a deep affinity for technology, that eventually he could actually write in machine code.

This 1 and 0 program could be entered into RAM or a PROM and run as a program. The hitch was that I couldn’t afford to pay for computer time. Luckily, the 6502 manual I had described what 1s and 0s were generated for each instruction, each step of a program. MOS Technologies even provided a pocket-sized card you carry that included all the 1s and 0s for each of the many instructions you needed.

So I wrote on the left side of the page in machine language. As an example, I might write down “LDA #44,” which means to load data corresponding to 44 (in hexadecimal) into the microprocessor’s A register.

On the right side of the page, I would write that instruction in hexadecimal using my card. For example that instruction would translate into A9 44. The instruction A9 44 stood for 2 bytes of data, which equated to 1s and 0s the computer could understand: 10101001 01000100.

Writing the program this way took about two or three pieces of paper, using every line.

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Woz developed a particular knack for simplifying hardware and software designs. Whether due to the cost of chips or just the challenge of technology, Woz would redesign and improve systems by removing chips and simplifying code. He also approached it all as a learning opportunity. A lot of what he accomplished he did because it was something he didn’t necesarily know how to do. The reason he can talk about his accomplishments without it coming across as excessive bragging is that he never seems to act like he knows everything already. He’s perpetually curious.

This plywood was covered with parts and it was a huge project. And having a huge project is a huge part of learning engineering -- learning anything, probably.

Page 38

That made me realize that a million times a second didn’t solve everything. Raw speed isn’t always the solution. Many understandable problems need an insightful, well-thought-out approach to succeed. The approach a program takes to solve something, the rules and steps and procedures it follows, by the way, is called an algorithm.

Page 51

His desire to push the boundaries of technology wasn’t his only motivation. There was also the more basic need he felt, born from his own shyness. Communicating with people was always a challenge for him. He faced the traditional nerd challenge of making friends and building relationships. Technology was his solution to the problem.

In that sense, it was a great way to show off my real talent, my talent of coming up with clever designs, designs that were efficient and affordable. By that I mean designs that would use the fewest components possible.

I also designed the Apple because I wanted to give it away for free to other people. I gave out schematics for building my computer at the next meeting I attended.

This was my way of socializing and getting recognized. I had to build something to show other people.

Page 157

Woz also talks about his love for practical jokes. In college he discovered he could jam a TV signal in a rec room with a device. He would turn it on, the signal would go out, someone else would get up to try to fix it, Woz would turn off the device and really confuse people.

So anyone watching would think that, okay, hitting harder works better. They all thought something was loose inside the TV and that by hitting it hard with your hand you could fix it. It was almost like a psychology experiment -- except, I noticed, humans learn better than rats. Only rats learn it quicker.

Page 63

At one point he started getting phone calls from people who were trying to reach and airline. Woz started having fun with them.

I told some caller they could fly “freight.” But they had to wear warm clothing.

I kept a straight face because everyone always went for the lower fare. At some point I started telling them it was cheaper to fly on a propeller planes than jets. The first time I did this I tried to book a guy on a thirty-four hour flight to London. But he would have nothing to do with it. I did get a number of people to buy a cheap twenty-four hour flight form San Jose to New York City.

Page 135

Woz tells more about the early days of Apple, his relationship with Steve Jobs, his endeavors after leaving day-to-day operations at Apple, his family life and more. I’ve only scratched the surface here. Regardless of your feeling about Apple as an organization, this is a fantastic book, and Woz has had a fascinating life. Despite the occasional bit of rambling and redundant content. “iWoz” remains an excellent read.


You can find more of my book review here.

New Character Class in Next Version of WoW: The Hermit

It has now leaked out that the next character class in WoW will be the long awaited Hermit.

A spokesperson said, "The Hermit really lets us take social gaming into a new realm: the anti-social."

When a player chooses a Hermit, they can play the massively multi player online role playing game on their own. When they log on to their favorite server, their first task is to find a cave in the forest or dessert for their hermit to live in. Then they go there and stay in hiding.

Characters advance in levels by not interacting with others, and when they do, it's through shouted exhortations to go away. Sometimes they throw cats.  The primary defense the hermit possesses is strong body odor which annoys other players who attempt to visit.  Players can also advance by mumbling to themselves incoherently, coming up with conspiracy theories they shout at their walls, pacing uncomfortably, and growing facial hair.

As a character advances they get access to special items, like scratchier clothing, scrawled "Do Not Disturb" signs, and stronger body odor.

Despite these awesome advances, a higher level character will gradually lose their affinity for spoken language while their conspiracy theories become more grandiose.

A Hermit can choose to be a member of the Alliance or the Horde, not that it makes any difference.

The spokesperson continued,"We think this will be the biggest hit in the next expansion pack.  Many users want to play our multi player game but they want to do it completely by themselves. The Hermit let's them do that.  They finally have a place for mumbling and avoiding social contact which is something WoW players never been able to do before.  Plus, it should stave off those ADA lawsuits by those suffering from Social Anxiety disorder."

The expansion pack featuring the Hermit should be in stores and online by Thanksgiving.




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Book Review 62: The Happiest Days of Our Lives

“We’re not supposed to do this, but I’m a big fan,” [the gate guard] said,conspiratorially. With anyone who really was a big deal in Hollywood, he was probably risking his job.

“Really?” I said. “You seem a little young for TNG.”

He grinned. “Not Star Trek, your blog.”

This took me completely by surprise. I have been so busy with other writing projects that 1 haven’t been able to give my blog the attention I want. I’ve frequently considered putting iton hiatus for a few months.

“That,” I said, “is totally awesome. Thank you.”

He smiled and then looked over his shoulder at the other guards. He turned back to me, nodded tersely, and waved me onto the lot.

Page 104

CES ended a few days ago and I wanted to get in one more Star Trek book review before the second hand smoke and tradeshow carpet formaldehyde has completely let my lungs.

“The Happiest Days of Our Lives” is another great collection from Wil Wheaton as he becomes an even more confident and comfortable essayist. The theme for this collection is nostalgia -- not in a maudlin way, but in the vein of looking back at both the good times and bad times in life and being able to softly sigh with a smile.

Most of the stories are not about Star Trek. The one that primarily is talks more about the fondness the cast felt for each other and for the show. The contrast between how the TNG felt about their colleagues and their show and how the TOS cast felt about their colleagues and their show (as expressed in other books) is striking.

Wheaton had to return to the Paramount lot to do some commentary for a Star Trek documentary.

“Yeah,” I said. “I’m just overwhelmed by a sadness right now that I can’t really explain.”

“I understand,” [the producer] said. “This happens whenever we work with someone from Next Generation. I don’t know what it was about you guys, but every single one of you loved each other and remembers working on the show very fondly.”

Page 109

Wheaton tells the story of how how came to terms with his Star Trek relationship in an earlier book so there’s not as much here. Instead, Wheaton focuses on the universal feelings many of us faced in youth -- even if we didn’t wear a space suit.

A time when my life was simpler and easier, when I had the luxury of taking for granted that I would always have everything I wanted and my opportunities were as numerous as the little mirrored stars on the black velvet starfield that hung behind Ten Forward on stage 9. Stars that are, most likely, cut up into hundreds of little bits to be doled out at auction for the next decade.

Page 113

The sense of possibility as a kid is something that’s not confined to child actors. He talks about things like music and how they have an impact on us growing up. When he hears a song, it takes him right back to a high school crush he had on an older girl.

“How Beautiful You Are” by The Cure—Kiss Me, Kiss Me,Kiss Me, the first compact disc I had, and it’s a good thing,too. I love this record so much, I would have worn it out in any other medium. This was also during the “W + K 4EVR”phase, and, nerdy little artist that I was, whenever I heard this song I longed to go with her to Paris and dance in the rain together. You know what I just realized? I don’t think I ever told her that I was so fiercely head over heels for her, and she either knew and didn’t call me out, or I had the perfect combination of infatuation and insecurity to keep it to myself. I wonder where she is today, and how she’s doing.

Page 59

I especially love that line about going Paris. It’s corny and cheesey and evocative. And, really, what 15 year old’s feeling of passion are not laden with corniness and cheeseyness? It captures the spirit of the feeling nicely.

Wheaton’s memory exploration doesn’t just go to the 70s and 80s. He also stays in the more-or-less present when he talks about his kids. He can still see them through teenagers' eyes and express what they are likely feeling through the his own set of experiences, a couple decades longer.

I glanced at Ryan again. His right leg was bouncing along with the music, and his head was bopping just a little bit.Translation: Must... maintain... carefully... crafted... cool.but... losing... battle... against... the..rock...

Page 69

I’m not sure that’s a thought that a teenager would articulate.

One thing I find interesting in this context in the comparison in biblical imagery as a kid and as an adult. In this passage we hear the thought of a little kid in the latter part of the passage.

We arrived a few minutes early (a rarity with my parents,who would show up an hour late for the end of the world) and I was one of the first kids to slide into my desk, right next to my friend Matthew. I thought he was cool because he had a Bible name.

page 16

Here, it is clearly an adult articulating a feeling a kid might have, but not in a way the kid would ever articulate.

“Okay, that’s fine. Let’s just go,” she said. I thought of looking back wistfully over my shoulder at the Millennium Falcon, but I was so ashamed of myself, I was certain that I’d be turned into a pillar of carbonite. Instead, I trailed behind my airplane-zooming brother and nap-needing sister while my mother pushed the cart up to the checkout.

page 44

Still, Wheaton tries to keep his own feelings in mind as he writes about his kids.

The nearest Cold Stone is in the mall, and it’s a bit of an ordeal to get there, park the car, walk across the whole place,deal with the inevitable mob of teenagers, blah blah blah get off my lawn, but when I was a kid and my dad took me for unannounced ice cream, I thought it was the coolest thing in the world.

page 47

And Wheaton takes joy in the subtle ironies of living in LA.

I turned his card over in my hand. His office at Walt Disney Studios on one side, the address to an illegal poker game on the other.

Sometimes, I love this town.

Page 134

While there is a strong focus on Wheaton’s younger years, it is not a book about a child actor. The acting is on the periphery of the story. He’s just a kid hanging out with his friends, going to school, and visiting relatives, and those feelings carry into the story. Wheaton’s story as a child actor may be an interesting one, but it’s not one he’s trying to tell. Instead, he tells as many “ordinary” stories as possible.

I feel I should call out one story in particular that had me cursing him like Sheldon. “Let Go -- A Requiem for Felix the Bear” is the story of a cat that adopts the Wheatons as its people. With the title of the story, it’s no secret that the cat dies at the end. The story is a heartfelt tribute with agonizing sadness as Wheaton tells us of this beloved and powerful animal. I don’t know how you can read it without tearing up. Of all the essays in the book, it has the most raw emotional power. It’s almost a little out of place with its tone, but I’m glad it’s in here.

If you’re a regular reader of Wheaton’s blog, or have seen him speak (I heard him read two of these stories at Emerald City Comic Con in 2009) you may already be familiar with the material. Much of it has already appeared on line. So why pick up a copy of the book?

Curration. This is a collection of the key stories Wheaton needs to tell. There’s a strong theme running through the book about awkwardly trying to make your way in the world -- as a kid, as a child star, as an adult, as a teenager, and even as a tough, old cat. Wheaton is able to tell a story and take us on a trip with this material, in a way the Nick Meyer couldn’t in his much broader book.

If you’re a fan of good story-tell, nostalgia, or of Wheaton, pick up “The Happiest Days of Our Lives.” It’s a quick read and a great book. Just save some tissues for Felix.

For more Star Trek book reviews, click here.

For more general book reviews, click here.

Movie Review 15: The Social Network

John Keating: Language was developed for one endeavor, and that is - Mr. Anderson? Come on, are you a man or an amoeba?
John Keating: Mr. Perry?
Neil: To communicate.
John Keating: No! To woo women

That classic exchange from Dead Poets Society is the key theme that drives the story of “The Social Network” and likely the creation of Facebook in the real world, as well.
The Social Network, written by Aaron Sorkin, and based on the book, The Accidental Billionaires purports to be the story behind Facebook.  While the general content may be true, there are plenty of fictionalized accounts in the movie. Sorkin did not approach the subject matter and a journalist, but as a story teller.  And as a story teller, he did a great job.

When I first heard there was going to be a Facebook movie, I was skeptical.  When I saw the previews I thought, “Huh.  This might not suck.”  Now that I’ve seen it, I can honestly say this a surprisingly good movie.

The movie uses two legal depositions as the framework for telling the story of how Mark Zuckerberg and his friends at Harvard created Facebook. It seems an odd choice to use that framework since “website authoring” and “legal deposition” aren’t typically buzzwords that bring people into the theater. 

The film opens as Erica Albright, Mark Zuckerberg’s (fictional) girlfriend breaks up with him in a restaurant.  He goes back to his Harvard dorm room, blogs nastily about her while drunk (seriously, folks, BWI, or blogging while impaired, is rarely a good idea (come to think of it, BWI, or Baltimore Washington International airport is also rarely a good idea)), and then hacks several Harvard networks to create a website that ranks women based on attractiveness.  He crashes the network, and we are off to the races.


The reason the subject matter works as a movie is because the fact that we’re talking about Facebook is almost incidental.  The story is about friendship, betrayal, naiveté, revenge, pettiness, and honor.  The socially inept and obsessively driven Zuckerberg moves forward with his ideas and get caught up folks who are simultaneously exactly the right people and wrong people to be involved with.

In many respects, the story is about a bunch of kids who don’t have the wisdom or experience to realize they are in over their heads.

Jesse Eisenberg does a fantastic job as Mark Zuckerberg, and is all about the contrast.  He shows a great balance of awkwardness and smarminess. You’re never sure if his Zuckerberg needs a hug or a smack across the face.

Andrew Garfield does a good job playing Eduardo Saverin, though he seems to lack depth or definition at times.  Sorkin doesn’t flesh out the character or the relationship with Zuckerberg well enough. Saverin is supposed to be Zuckerberg’s best friend, but why?  Sorkin doesn’t do enough to establish that relationship, and Zuckerberg and Saverin are different enough, that we can’t just assume the friendship is natural.

Justin Timberlake plays a larger than life Sean Parker, the over the top Napster and Plaxo founder, who splits Zuckerberg and Saverin apart.  The Zuckerberg and Parker characters look an awful lot alike, which severs the story in interesting ways.  It shows Zuckerberg the person he can potentially be if things go right.  And it shows Parker the person he would like to be again.

The most interesting thing I learned about Facebook from this movie was that Sean Parker had such a role with the company.

At times, Timberlake’s portrayal is distracting.  His character reminded me less of the young genius who changed the record business for ever, and more of Neal Patrick Harris’s Barney from “How I Met Your Mother.”

Brenda Song, known to many as the Disney Channel’s London Tipton from “The Suite Life of Zack and Cody,” plays a very different character here.  As fellow Harvard Student Christy Ling, she connects Zuckerberg with Parker.  She appears several more times in the story, but I’m not sure why.  It’s as though Sorkin just wanted to add love interest but her presence doesn't really add much to plot or flesh out the characterizations of Zuckerberg or Saverin much.

Armie Hammer does a great job playing twins Cameron and Tyler Winklevoss.  I had not idea it was one actor playing both of them until I read about it on the movie’s website.  The characters felt different.  In the story, they are identical twins. But as I watched the movie, I thought they didn’t look that much alike.  In fact they were more a like than twins because it turns out they were the same actor.

Characterization, though, is not Sorkin’s strong point.  He wrote them and their business partner Divya Narendra (played by Max Minghella) as nothing more than spoiled, entitled rich kids who’ve never had to earn anything.  They were the “dumb jocks” of the movie, and that seems too simple. 

They’re in the story because they founded an early Facebook competitor called ConnectU and claim they hired Zuckerberg to code it for them.  They sue him, claiming he stole their idea and turned it into Facebook.
It’s possible Sorkin’s sketch of them is accurate, but I doubt it.  It was too flat and simple.  Whereas other aspects of the film and story were more nuanced, this thread was too black and white.

Despite those concerns, this is still an excellent movie.  Sorkin’s story telling is compelling. The cinematography is also excellent.  The crew race in England is beautifully shot. The pacing is crisp.
 
I don’t know how much it reflects the reality of the story of Facebook; doubtless there is plenty of fictional content.  It is, after all, a story and not a documentary.

It exceeded all my expectations, though, and is definitely worth seeing.

For more of my movie reviews, click here.

Here is the movie trailer:

Marian Call and Molly Lewis in Fremont

From MarianCall.com:

Marian Call delivers whimsical Alaskan folk funk for the Coffee Counter-Culture. She sounds a little like Joni Mitchell &; Regina Spektor raising the child of Jason Mraz &; Erin McKeown. Call's sound is always soulful, honest, and clever, loved by all types -- computer geeks, church ladies, teenage thugs, NPR listeners, and urban hipsters worldwide.

I first learned about Marian Call on the Seattle Geekly podcast.  If you are interested in the geek goings on in Seattle, you should be listening to Matt and Shannon's show, too.

Marian Call's music is basically Lounge meets Torchsong meets Nerdcore.  When I learned should had a show coming up and -- wonder of wonders -- I was going to be in town for it, I knew I should go.

I almost skipped it, however.  I was tired from a prior trip, and since I hadn't purchased tickets in advance I wasn't forced to go.  It just seemed easier to skip it for no good reason.  I get that impulse from time to time, and I resist it.

For several years, I had a sign up in my bedroom that said, "Don't not do stuff you enjoy for stupid reasons."  This mantra is what got me out the door on Thursday evening.  And I'm glad I went to the show.

Molly Lewis opened for Marian.  Molly, you may recall, also plays at w00tstock! and she often tours with Jonathan Coulton.  Molly sings awesome ukulele songs about Wikipedia and the Abraham Lincoln assassination.  I've now been to 5 shows where Molly played, meaning I have seen more of her concerts than I've seen of Billy Joel concerts.

Molly really seems to have grown as a performer over the past two years.  She appears more confident on stage with both her music and her crown banter.  She's less self-conscious than she did the first time I saw her.

Bottom line is that she did an awesome job.

Image by Brian Adams at http://baphotos.com

Marian Call was a surprise in a couple ways. For one thing, she is a surprisingly petite woman.  With her voice I expected someone a little taller and, well, bigger. For a another, she seemed a little more self-conscious on stage than I expected. For a third, she used a mechanical typewriter as a musical instrument.

That's all minor stuff, though.  The amazing thing about Marian is the power and richness of her voice. There were probably about 100 people in the room (maybe more), and I think Marian could have performed without a mic if she needed to.

It's not just the volume, but also the richness and energy of he voice.

I can imagine listening to here sing while I sip  a cocktail in a lounge in Rio De Janeiro on the hot evening of day 3 of a 4 day artificial intelligence conference.  Other attendees will be whooping it up in a sports bar down the street watching soccer, while just half of the tables at the lounge are occupied by couples and singles who know they are experiencing something special, in a unique place and at a unique time as Marian slowly sings, and the waitresses slowly pour themselves around the tables.

At the Fremont show she sang songs about love and science fiction -- about space travel and pick up trucks. She sang about cheerleader zombies and karaoke. She sang about Geek pride and insecurity.

It was a great show.  It didn't have the same zany energy you see at other shows, but that's not what this one was about.  It was a lower key event and that was just fine.

The show did lack a sense of intimacy, but that's likely because Marian rarely performs with a band or (I gather) a crowd this size.  The show also seemed to be something of a homecoming for Marian.  And that's a tough balance.  I imagine that as Marian gains even more success (a given) she'll become more experienced with this format.

Regardless, if you get the chance, catch her show.  She has shows coming up in Vancouver, BC; Bellingham, WA; and all over the east coast as she strives to perform in all 50 states. You can see her upcoming schedule here.  You can also learn more about arranging a house concert on her site.

You can listen to her songs for free here.

It's certainly not a bad way to spend a Thursday evening.

Free Music for Bloggers and Fans

I mentioned Jamendo on Twitter a couple weeks back.  It's a pretty neat site.

Jamendo is a site where musicians share their music for free.  You can download thousands of tracks and albums from new artists and explore wide range of genres.

By free, I mean the music is available under a Creative Commons copyright.  Unlike traditional copyright, which reserves all rights to the owner (except, of course, the right to fair use, despite what some holders might claim), a Creative Commons copyright grants explicit rights to reproduce and reuse the content in many ways.

For example, you may recall my w00tstock! videos. At most concerts, you will be kicked out for recording the performances.  At w00tstock! they encourage you to record and post it -- for noncommercial purposes.

Most of the videos I post to YouTube I release under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike license.

Most of the content on Jamendo is under a similar license.  That means you can download it for free, copy it for free, and share it with friends for free -- as long as you comply with the rather liberal copyright terms.

You can search by genre, country, license, and more.  When I was looking for some music from Japan for an upcoming blog post, I downloaded dozens of tracks from Jamendo until I found just the right one.  And I can use that in my projects without fear of a take down notice.  The other music I found will just go on my iPod.

If you are a blogger and looking for music for a post or project, check out the libraries on Jamendo.

If you are interested in the new wave of intellectual property and the social experiment of how new artists share their music with audiences around the world -- without a big music label making all the decisions, check out Jamendo.

If you just want to hear what is possible without a big studio, you guessed it, check out Jamendo.

Podcasts and Authors

In the same week I listened to podcast interviews with two of my favorite authors.  Chris Hardwick of The Nerdist interviewed Scott Sigler, while Matt and Shannon of Seattle-Geekly interviewed Marjorie Liu.

If you are a fan of geek culture at all, or the process of stand-up comedy in particular, you should be listening to The Nerdist podcast.  Add Seattle-Geekly if you live in Western Washington.

The problem with the interviews is that they barely talked about the books I read.  The Sigler interview was fantastic, covering both culture and process. Sure, Sigler was there to promote Ancestor, but I wish they would have spoken more about Infected and Contagious.  I suppose spoilers could make it problematic, for new listeners, but I still wanted to hear more.

The Liu interview seemed to be more of a missed opportunity.  I'm guessing that Matt and Shannon were not too familiar with the Hunter Kiss series. The books take place predominantly in Seattle, and Liu lived in Seattle for many years.  Rather than just exploring Liu's geek nature (which is still awesome), and her new video game adaptation, I wish they would have spoken more specifically about Seattle and the influence the city has had on Liu's writing.  The strength of the Seattle-Geekly cast is the local tie.  Instead, the interview (while still good) could have been done by a podcast in most any other city.

Despite those concerns, these were both good shows. Ancestor is the next book I need to read, and now I need to add Feed to my list (thanks to the podcast).  Plus, the latest Seattle-Geekly episode just introduced me to some awesome geek musicians. The shows are worth subscribing to.

Gunnar Optiks packaging and thoughts

I first learned about Gunnar Optiks computer glasses at PAX Prime in 2009.

Gunnar Optiks makes glasses designed for computer users.  They are available in prescription and non-prescription flavors.  They use a special tint and lens geometry to improve screen clarity and reduce eye fatigue. You can learn more about the technology here.

A couple months ago I ordered a pair (Anime style in blue).  They work well do make the spreadsheets easier to deal with.  The increased contrast is helpful, and my eyes don't dry out as much following marathon sessions.  They are most effective in bright rooms.   The lenses are least effective when I am not only in a dark environment (like a hotel room where I have many of the lights out), but also when my laptop screen dims to conserve battery life.

Since they are tinted, they do distort color a little bit.  They amber lenses warm the colors on the screen.  It works well for general office work and light image editing, but graphics professionals may prefer the non-tinted version.

They are also helpful when I'm watching an LCD TV.

This post is not primarily about the glasses, though.  It's about the packaging.  I ordered directly from the company, and they shipped them in a padded envelope.

Inside the envelope they added a coupon for my next pair and assorted product literature.

The glasses were inside a cardboard box.

I lifted the lid and found foam protecting an inner box.

That covered a metal box.

Inside the metal box, there is a lens cleaning cloth/bag.

Beneath that, I finally found the glasses, secured in cardboard.

Here they are unfolded.

This is awesome packaging, and if I used them solely at my desk, I might be willing to use the packaging.  It's a little too bulky and pointy (metal corners) to travel with, though.  And I'm not sure what TSA would think of that rectangular metal box.  So I took the cleaning cloth/bag, and re-purposed an old Eddie Bauer sunglasses case. It provides adequate travel protection.

The other problem I have with the packaging is that the literature is too big.    The cards and flyers should be small enough to fit in the cardboard box, but they aren't.  I had to fold and crease them up so they would fit.

This may seem like a stupid thing to complain about, but Gunnar has guaranteed the literature will go  in the trash.  If it was a more basic packaging job, the literature wouldn't bother me. But they spent a lot of money on this.  It seems silly to not coordinate the literature size with the box size.

Regardless, I'm pleased with my glasses.  If you spend alot of time looking at computer screens, and color correction is not critical, you may want to check them out.

Tokyo Travels Part 06: Fraking Cylons on the Sumida River

I saw them in St Louis, and now, they are in Tokyo.

Is it really that much of a surprise that the Cylons have moved there?

Book Review 55: Soon I Will Be Invincible

When your laboratory explodes, lacing your body with a  supercharged elixir, what do you do? You don't just lie there. You crawl out of the rubble, hideously scarred, and swear vengeance on the world. You keep going. You keep trying to take over the world.

Page 310

Soon I will be Invincible by Austin Grossman is a fun book that follows the adventures of a Supervillian as he tries to take over the word and a reluctant Superheroine as she struggles to fit in with a team of heroes determined to stop him.

The novel takes place in a comic-book like world and opens with Dr. Impossible in prison contemplating the nature of villains.

This morning on planet Earth, there are one thousand, six hundred, and eighty-six enhanced, gifted, or otherwise-superpowered persons. Of these, one hundred and twenty-six are civilians leading normal lives. Thirty-eight are kept in research facilities funded by the Department of Defense, or foreign equivalents. Two hundred and twenty-six are aquatic, confined to the oceans. Twenty-nine are strictly localized—powerful trees and genii loci, the Great Sphinx, and the Pyramid of Giza. Twenty-five are microscopic (including the Infinitesimal Seven). Three are dogs; four are cats; one is a bird. Six are made of gas. One is a mobile electrical effect, more of a weather pattern than a person. Seventy-seven are alien visitors. Thirty-eight are missing. Forty-one are off-continuity, permanent emigres to Earth's alternate realities and branching timestreams.

Six hundred and seventy-eight use their powers to fight crime. while four hundred and forty-one use their powers to commit them. Forty-four are currently confined in Special Containment Facilities for enhanced criminals. Of these last, it is interesting to note that an unusually high proportion have IQs of 300 or more -- eighteen to be exact. Including me.

Page 3-4

All superheroes have an origin. They make a big deal of it, the story of how they got their powers and their mission. Bitten by a radioactive bug, they fight crime; visited by wandering cosmic gods, they search for the lost tablets of so-and-so, and avenge their dead families. And villains? We come on the scene, costumed and leering, colorfully working out our inexplicable grudge against the world with an oversized zap gun or cosmic wormhole. But why do we rob banks rather than guard them? Why did I freeze the Supreme Court, impersonate the Pope, hold the Moon hostage?

Page 7-8

It’s a fun book that looks at the fate of, and illustrates the flaws with, villains and heroes in a more light-hearted way than we see in the iconic Watchmen or in the tortured souls of the Marvel Universe.  We see meetings fall apart, misguided attempts at romance, and egos run amuck in a way that just seems more normal. The heroes’ organization seems more like a modern well intentioned corporate group than the almost sacred flawed heroes we’ve come to expect. 

Grossman tells the story in first person perspective, primarily shifting back and forth between the Dr. Impossible, the villain, and Fatale, the heroine.

And is often the case, the villain is more interesting.  Dr. Impossible talks about his conversation with another villain while in prison.

I stare back at him. I don't know where he got the idea I'm some kind of boss on the inside. The Prism talks to me sometimes, zaps in through the glass when no one's looking, but he's not making much sense these days. Spend too much time as a rainbow and you lose your grasp on certain things.

Page 41

Fatale faces her own challenges as a Cyborg (a human with who has had substantial portions of her body replaced with robotics).

He leaves me alone to unpack. My room looks like a hotel— whoever lived here before me didn't do much decorating. Then I catch on—this must be Galatea's old room, the famous living robot. It figures.

I don't like robots. I hate meeting them socially, even the smart ones that can paint pictures and talk about religion. I met XCathedra once, at a Washington reception connected to the high-tech industry. She was there, schmoozing with cybernetics executives who crowded around her like dwarves around Snow White. She was painted in white racing stripes for the occasion. 1 found myself looking at her shoulder joint, wondering whether we had any technologies in common. When our eyes met the feeling was uncomfortably intimate.

Page 54-55

"I was a superhero, too, for a while, but the NSA was just easier. It's not like how they tell you it will be. It's hard to make it on your own as a cyborg—I've tried, I weigh almost five hundred pounds. I can't find clothes that fit me. I can't ride a bicycle. I can't eat in a normal restaurant, or sit in a chair not reinforced for my weight. I need special foods; I need medication to keep my body from rejecting the implants, and then I get sick too often due to a depressed immune system.

Page 274

All good villains (I love that phrase) must take hostages at some point.  The Dr. Impossible keeps kidnapping a hero’s girlfriend/reporter.

In later years, true, we drifted apart. You can't just take the same hostage every time. Not that my dating techniques grew any more sophisticated in the meantime. But she must be out there somewhere. I'm still waiting for that interview.
Page 231

Of course the Dr. Impossible escapes early in the novel.  There wouldn’t be much of a story if he didn’t.  Later on, some of the heroes encounter him at a coffee shop.  As you would expect by this point in the book, they must follow comic book tradition and protocols.

"You're an escaped felon. We're giving you a chance to surrender quietly. This doesn't have to be a fight."

This sort of offer is a mere formality for a man with a Power Staff and a napkin taped to his face, and she knows it. I'm sweating, wishing I had my helmet. I promised myself once that I wouldn't go down in street clothes.

Page 193

Overall, Soon I Will be Invincible was a fun read.  It may not be a fantastic novel; it lacks the depth of many of my favorite books, but I got a big kick out of it.  It’s humorous and despite the dark things that happen in the book, it’s still somewhat light-hearted. I found myself invested with the characters.

It simultaneously satirizes and honors the superhero and comic book story telling. 

If you are compiling your summer vacation reading list, and you like the superhero world, Soon I Will be Invincible by Austin Grossman should be on your list.

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Here is the back cover synopsis of Soon I Will be Invincible by Austin Grossman.

Doctor Impossible — evil genius, diabolical scientist, wannabe world dominator — languishes in a federal detention facility. He's lost his freedom, his girlfriend, and his hidden island fortress.
Over the years he's tried to take over the world in every way imaginable: doomsday devices of all varieties (nuclear, thermonuclear, nanotechnological) and mass mind control. He's traveled backwards in time to change history, forward in time to escape it. He's commanded robot armies, insect armies, and dinosaur armies. Fungus army. Army of fish. Of rodents. Alien invasions. All failures. But not this time. This time it's going to be different...
Fatale is a rookie superhero on her first day with the Champions, the world's most famous superteam. She's a patchwork woman of skin and chrome, a gleaming technological marvel built to be the next generation of warfare. Filling the void left by a slain former member, we watch as Fatale joins a team struggling with a damaged past, having to come together in the face of unthinkable evil.
Soon I Will Be Invincible is a thrilling first novel; a fantastical adventure that gives new meaning to the notions of power, glory, responsibility, and (of course) good and evil.