More fun TSA stuff

Lately there are more stories appearing in the media about the disgusting behavior of TSA.  Here's one more stumbled across.

It's a lengthy post, so here's a summary:

1. Guy goes to the airport 
2. Guy declines the nude-o-scope (AKA virtual strip search, AKA Back Scatter X-Ray) 
3. Guy declines "enhanced pat down" 
4. TSA informs him he can't fly as a result
5. Guy says OK.
6. Guy gets escorted out of the secure area.
7. As guy tries to leave the airport, as TSA already instructed him, another TSA guy tries to stop him from leaving and threatens a civil penalty of $10,000.

You can read the whole post here.

Choose: Strip Search or Molestation

Do you want to be strip searched by the Back Scatter X-Ray or molested with TSA's "Enhanced Pat Down" at Seatac?

TSA is now installing the strip-o-matic machines at the North Satellite security check point. These machines use back scatter X-Ray technology to conduct a virtual strip search of passengers.You can see samples of these strip searches by doing a simple Google Image Search.

Some might say the images aren't so bad. Afterall the agent seeing them will never see the passenger being screened and will not be allowed to have any recording equipment in the room where they view the strip searches. Which, of course, confirms their explicitness.

TSA also claims the machines can't record images.

From the Seattle PI:

Regarding privacy, Parker said images from the machine go to a separate room, where a screener can radio back to the checkpoint if there's something suspicious. She said the screeners who see the passenger never see the image, while those who see the image never see the passenger.

The machines have no capacity to store imag [sic], and the screeners in the room may not have any cameras, cell phones or other recording devices. The TSA also applies a "privacy algorithm" that makes the images less explicit.

The don't appear to be segregating the machines and screeners by gender. You can't be sure who's looking at you and your kids.

Of course the claim that they don't store the images offers little reassurance. It's only a policy decision not to do it. It's not a hardware limitation.

In fact, the US Marshals service used similar machines in Florida at a courthouse.

From CNN:

The U.S. Marshals Service is confirming that it has stored more than 35,000 "whole body" images of people who had entered a U.S. courthouse in Orlando, Florida.

The images captured by millimeter wave technology are more ghost-like and far less detailed than those produced by "backscatter" machines commonly used by the Transportation Security Administration at airports nationwide.

Do you trust TSA to be more respectful or airline passengers than the US Marshals are of courthouse visitors?

Of course, it's entirely "optional." If you don't want TSA member virtually undressing you from a hidden room, you can opt instead for an Enhanced Pat Down. What is that like?

From The Consumerist:

"To call it a pat-down is a euphemism," said a spokesman for the ACLU in Massachusetts. "They really go for it."

He says that -- unlike the antiquated pat-down, which required TSA screeners to use the back of their hands when searching sensitive regions of your person -- the enhandced pat-down allows them to use their palms and fingers to feel and prod passengers.

One traveler who got the deluxe treatment at Logan sums it up thusly: "If anybody ever groped me like that in real life, I would have punched them in their nose."

From the Boston Herald:

Logan airport security just got more up close and personal as federal screeners launched a more aggressive palms-first, slide-down body search technique that has renewed the debate over privacy vs. safety.

For now, you can avoid this disgusting choice at SEA by not using the North Security Checkpoint. You can access all gates by clearing security at any checkpoint.

From the Seattle PI:

Starting Sunday, Sea-Tac Airport will close the North Security Checkpoint while the TSA reconfigures the layout to include the new scanners. Officials expect the closure to last approximately two weeks but say it should not cause delays because TSA will open extra lanes at the other checkpoints and have extra staff on hand to guide travelers.

So for you now, those who pay attention to the farce that is TSA do not have to make that choice at SEA. The only people subject to the strip search or TSA molesting will be those non-frequent travelers who are not familiar with the airport.

This insanity needs to stop. Treating everyone like they are being arrested is not going to help aviation security.  It's not making us safer.

And it is certainly not protecting our freedoms.

Discount Aifare

Yesterday (Monday, 2010-03-08) Jetblue celebrated 10 years of flight by offering $10 fares to select locations.  You can read more about that here:

JetBlue is holding a one-day sale offering $10 fares between New York's JFK airport and the carrier's first 10 destinations in celebration of its 10th year of operation.

...More

While that sale is over, it reminded me of one I did once take part in.

In 1989, Eastern Airlines was going through deep financial trouble, as were many other carriers.  On top of the competitive issues, Eastern had a terrible relationship with its unions.  The mechanics went on strike, and the airline filed for bankruptcy a few days later.

In the interim, however, they slashed prices on their east coast shuttle.  Karl, one of my fellow members of the Archbishop Molloy Speech and Debate team, and I decided to take advantage of this awesome $10 fare to Boston.  Heck, that was cheaper than taking a cab to the airport.

So we showed up at the airport, bought our tickets and went to Boston.  I'm not even sure what we did for much of the day, though I do recall going to Faneuil Hall.  I believe we also went to the JFK library, which seems and odd choice for us since at that point in my life I was at the height of my Republican-ness (Karl was slightly to the right of Rush Limbaugh). We did a few other historic related things and headed back to the airport.

And that was when I had my first "airport experience." We got to Logan, and wouldn't you know it? All those $10 fare drew a lot of people to the airport.  Despite the hourly shuttle flight, people just kept showing up.  We couldn't get on the first 3 or 4 flights we tried and got pretty nervous about being stuck in Boston.

We found ourselves in an interesting position.  We really wanted to get back to NYC that night because we had a speech tournament the next day. I was 17 and had my driver's license.  Karl was 15 and did not, so renting a car was unlikely to be an option.  We began to think we might not have a choice but to grab a hotel room someplace, and try to catch the first flight out to get to the tournament the next day. Or we'd just have to sleep in the airport.

Eventually, though, we got on a plane and made it back to NYC.

Was it worth the hassle to participate in those cheap fares?  Today, maybe not.  But in 1989? Absolutely.  It was an adventure to spontaneously go to another city while participating the in final decline of what was once America's biggest airline. Plus it was a great independent thing for a city kid to do.  BOS and NYC are very close to each other for most of the world, but while I was growing up in Queens, it may as well have been in California.  

 

Seeing stuff in Boston was almost incidental to just the exciting nature of the trip, and the opportunity to witness business history.

I just wish I recalled the details a little better.

Oh, and BTW, when I have to do the route now, I don't fly between NYC and BOS.  It's just silly.  That route is one of the things that Amtrak gets right.

For more information about the history of Eastern Airlines, check out the Wikipedia article.

Kid directing ground traffic at JFK

NEW YORK — As planes waited to take off from Kennedy Airport, the jargon-packed radio chatter between controllers and pilots was interrupted by a boy's voice: "JetBlue 171, cleared for takeoff."
An air traffic controller who brought his son to work let the youngster read a few routine messages to pilots — and brought in another child the next day — in an incident that amused pilots but not the Federal Aviation Administration (FAA).
Authorities suspended the controller and a supervisor Wednesday after a recording of the radio calls was posted on the Internet, then reported by a Boston television station.

...More

By this point you may have heard this story.  A controller brought his kid to work and let him read some radio calls to planes at JFK.  The recording got out on the 'net; the controller and his supervisor are suspended.  You can listen to the actual audio here.

And there is much outrage and gnashing of teeth over thousands of people who were nearly killed as a result. The problem with that view is that there wasn't any actual damage.

It's important to realize a few things here.

1. The is grounds control at JFK.  Planes are slowing moving about the tarmac and are not in the air.
2. It's clear that kid was being told EXACTLY what to say and he did it clearly.
3. This was actually safer than a normal JFK afternoon.  The fresh voice on the radio and break in routine probably amused many of the pilots.  At the very least, it got them to pay more attention, which is a good thing.

Indefinite suspension is a little much for this incident.  The controller shouldn't have done it, though his actions seem to have caused no danger. Give him a verbal reprimand and be done with it. Let's hope this incident doesn't turn the kid off to airtravel careers in the future.

Fire (or at least smoke) at the St. Louis Airport

My recent adventures at the St. Louis airport (STL) on 2010-02-18 started in the amusing category and drifted towards the annoying category, with kinda scary off in the distance.  Those of you who followed my Twitter stream (@Cromely) may have already been annoyed by my telling of the story as it unfolded.

Travel anecdotes generally fall into one of five categories:

• Amusing
• Entertaining
• Annoying
• Anger inducing
• Scary

I flew into STL from O'Hare and we were essentially on time (which is is almost newsworthy itself). We got off the plane and headed toward the exit. The crowd thickened and slowed Eventually we came to a stop in the hall outside Starbucks and the smell reached us.

Smoke. Looking over the heads of people toward the security checkpoint we could see the thickening haze. TSA and airport staff kept us in the C terminal. We could see the flashing lights of the fire alarm further up, even though we couldn't hear anything. And there were no announcements. Word trickled back to us that the fire department was there.

So we have visible smoke, smoke we can smell, fire department on scene, no PA system, and hundreds of people. The logical solution is to keep us all in the terminal instead of using the emergency exits onto the tarmac, right? Apparently STL and TSA staff thought so. Perhaps that was the right decision for them given the circumstances.

After several minutes they decided that maybe it would be a good idea to get the passengers out of the terminal. They routed us from the C Terminal, down a hall to the B security checkpoint to get out.

Of course, the hallway was smaller than the terminal and they were courteous enough to direct more of the smoke into that hall. It was thicker and smelled stronger. A few people began coughing more. Then, for whatever reason, we came to a stop in the hall way. I'm not sure if the authorities stopped the group from moving, or if it was just traffic as we merged with the crowds being evacuated from Terminal B, too.

Ultimately, I guess it turned out to be no big deal (except for all those delayed flights and rescreening of passengers). I didn't see anything about it in the news. I'm not sure when people were able to get their checked bags. I just carried on and went straight to the rental car shuttle.

But when I stepped outside the terminal building, and took several big gulps of air, I smiled. I never expected to enjoy the fresh air of St. Louis quite so much.

The map below shows the path we took to leave the terminal. We started on the right of this image and moved towards the left. The two "X"s mark the approximate place where I took the pictures of the crowd.

Movie Review 13: Up in the Air

I fly roughly 90,000 domestic butt-in-seat-miles every year. I spend about 120 nights in hotels. My Alaska Airlines MVP Gold Card, Hilton Honors Diamond Card, and Hertz Gold President's Club Gold cards mean I get to go to the front of the line in travel facilities around the country. I even decorate my apartment with Industrial Post Shelving. I have dual citizenship with the USA and the ephemeral place known as "Air World." In that respect, I have a few things in common with Ryan Bingam, George Clooney's character in Jason Reitman's "Up in the Air."

The movie is based on Walter Kirn's novel of the same name. I first heard about the book when Terry Gross interviewed Kirn on NPR's Fresh Air. As I recall, I found the first part of the book to be great, but was a little disappointed in the second half.

The movie diverges significantly from the book, and the main plots really have nothing to do with one another, and that's a good thing. The book and the movie do share the culture of the frequent flyer and their commentary on corporate downsizing.

As the GF and I sat in the theater, I found myself chuckling with recognition of travel moments. There appeared to be a few other frequent flyers in the theater chuckling at the same moments. And I did recognize many of the airports he goes through (including a couple times when they pretended STL was OMA). But there's more to this movie than just travel moments to relate to.

The story follows Ryan Bingham, who travels the country firing people for other companies. His own position is threatened by a new employee who wants to replace Bingham and his colleagues with video conferencing. The possibility of being taken off the road and subjected to going into the same office day after day terrifies Bingham.

In the meantime we see Bingham relate to people he meets on the road, his co-workers, and his family. Some are mystified at his lifestyle; others relate perfectly.

The movie is a nice portrait of those people. While the plot moves forward at a good pace, not too much happens in it. If you are looking for huge world changing stories, go see "Avatar." If you want one that is more about people and how they deal with opportunities for personal growth this is a great choice.

The cinematography is also quite good. The sweeping vistas of the skies, shots of the irrigation circles in the midwest, airport schedule boards, and the shuffling of luggage are all well done. Even though it's not a big special effects movie there is still good reason to see it on the big screen.

Themes of loneliness and alienation run through the movie. In that respect, it reminds me of "Lost in Translation."

I have read some criticism that the product placement is overdone, but I don't agree. Sure it's there, and I have no doubt Travel Pro, Hilton, American Airlines, and Hertz paid dearly to be featured so strongly in the film, but the fact is corporate branding is a part of travel, and brand loyalty is the whole key to success in loyalty programs. These brands are part of travel life and simply make more sense than throwing out an Oceanic Airlines or some other fake brand.

There has been Oscar talk for "Up in the Air," along with "Avatar," and after seeing these two movies, "Up in the Air" deserves a Best Picture Oscar more than "Avatar." They're both very good movies. "Avatar" is a beautiful movie, and definitely deserves a slew of Oscars, but the story and character development aren't as strong. If it wasn't such a gorgeous film, didn't blaze new trails in computer graphics, and didn't push 3D films to a new level, it would just be a good film.

"Up in the Air" has a much stronger script. The writing is better and the characters are more interesting. No planet or civilization is at stake, but the story still has plenty to keep the viewer interested. It doesn't have the cliches of "Avatar." And while it does offer commentary on corporate life and greed is doesn't beat the viewer over the head with its commentary.

Weeks after it's release, "Up in the Air" is still filling theater seats, and for good reason. If you like movies about characters, or just spend a lot of time traveling, check it out.


You can see more of my movie reviews here.

Light Rail and SeaTac

Finally.  We now have rail to the airport in Seattle.

Early holiday arrival: light rail to airport

With duffel bags, wheeled luggage and children in tow, a steady stream of travelers tried Sound Transit's new SeaTac/Airport Station on its opening day Saturday.

The trains, coming about 10 minutes apart, typically carried some 75 riders each into the towering station with the spine-like truss roof, located between the airport parking garage and Highway 99.

It opened two weeks early, just in time for the airport's busy Christmas travel period.

...More

The system is far from finished and should have been built years ago.  but bickering over infrastructure has delayed it since the 1960s.

The question remains of how useful the system will be. 

The biggest airport users will likely be airport/airline employees.  Travellers will use it, too, but I'm curious about the volume.

It costs $2.50 to ride to the airport.  If I were to drive, that would mean 15 miles of travel.  Plus I pay $12-14 a day fro parking.  If I use the airport garage that price jumps to about $26/day.  If I take a cab, it's about $45 each way.

So it's definitely cheaper to take the train.  The problem?  Luggage.

The nearest station is 8-12 blocks from my building.  And that's down hill.  Leaving in the morning with my computers and suitcase wouldn't be too much hassle, but I'm not sure I want to deal with hauling all my stuff back 8-10 blocks, uphill, at night, after a day of activity and flying. It just sounds tremendously unpleasant. 

For short trips, maybe it makes sense to use as a traveler.  For longer ones, I'm a bit skeptical.

Now if they actually build the streetcar in my neighborhood, we may be on to something.  Here's to hoping for the Boren route.

Mileage Run

Because of the way my trips fell this year, I found myself making my first ever mileage run.

A mileage run is a trip you take for the sole purpose of accumulating Frequent Flyer miles.  They may be really cheap, long flights.  They might involve several days of creative routing.  Or they might just be that short hop that puts you over a threshold.

Here's where my Alaska Airlines milage account was sitting this afternoon.

I locked in my Gold level earlier this summer, but I somehow I ended up 25 miles short of 75K.  This is important because once a traveler hits 75K in a year, Alaska will just give them 50K in bonus miles. 

50K is a lot of miles.  That's the equivalent of two round trip domestic coach tickets in the US, or one first class ticket, or roughly one coach ticket to Europe, or half a business class ticket to Asia.

And with all my business travel done for the year, I was just 25 miles short.

And that's how I found myself at SeaTac (SEA) tonight, waiting for a flight to Bellingham (BLI). 

It's about a 25 minute flight.  I got on the plane, we took off, we flew north, we bounced all around the air in Whatcom county, and landed at BLI. 

I got off the plane, walked into the terminal, turned right around and sat down in the departures areas.  No more than 10 minutes later, I walked back on to the same aircraft, with the same crew, for the flight back to SEA.  Roughly 30 minutes later, we bounded down the runway at SEA and shortly there after, I was back in my familiar C-concourse, looking for my Mission Accomplished banner.

Yes, I am aware of how silly this whole process really is.  But like any good junkie, I got my miles.

Now I just have 617,380 miles to go until I get gold for life. That's a lot of Bellingham trips.

Delays as the norm

On Thursday, the failure of a single piece of hardware in Salt Lake City made a wreck of the air travel system. It impacted hundred of flights and resulted in cancellations and delays across the country as we head into one of the busiest travel weeks of the year.

From the Seattle PI:

ATLANTA -- Air travelers nationwide scrambled to revise their plans Thursday after an FAA computer glitch caused widespread cancellations and delays for the second time in 15 months. The Federal Aviation Administration said the problem, which lasted about four hours, was fixed around 9 a.m., but it was unclear how long flights would be affected.

My favorite part is that so many airports are so messed up that massive delays and cancellations look like business as usual.

Despite the problems, the public areas of Atlanta's airport seemed no busier than usual.
 ...
In the public areas of Newark International Airport, where delays are routine, Thursday seemed like a normal day, though several people paced around the terminal trying to rearrange their plans.

...More

The actions of the airports would be worthy of kudos if the situation was more like, "they delays meant a lot more people were in the airport waiting for flights, but the logistics were manageable."  The issue is that there was no evident difference between this day and any other.  The major mess was just business as usual.

Airport Furnishing

I flew to Irvine tonight on a mostly empty 737.  I think there were only 30 passengers on the plane.

When I got off, I had an exciting discovery.

SNA Gate 10 has a new Jetway! Or at least new carpeting and walls in the old Jetway.  It was like going to a new airport.

I'm not sure what's more disturbing:

The fact that I noticed a new jetway in an airport other than SEA.
That fact that I would notice a jetway anyplace.
The fact that I found it exciting.

Landing experiments at SeaTac

In the news recently, there has been increased discussion of Free Flight as a way to modernize air traffic control. But that's only one of the innovations being worked on.

In this Seattle Times article, reporter discuss the FAA's Next Generation project for landing planes.

Currently, the way I navigate in a new city, using GPS, is more technologically advanced than the way planes land at most airports. Most planes take long, gradual routes to reach a run way. The take steps down in altitude, rather than descending gradually, and they have to wait until some person miles away tells them to take that next step.

The Next Generation project, however, ties the planes autopilot into GPS navigation, combined with a preplanned approach route that lowers fuel consumption, exhaust generation, time, and impact on the surrounding community.

It sounds like a winner.

Alaska Airlines recently tested this solution at SEA.

"This is a perfect place to do this," said Mike Adams, the pilot in command of the August test flight. "Boeing is here. Alaska has a completely equipped fleet. Everybody is trained. We are so ready, we can't stand it any more."

Alaska projects reduced overflight noise for 750,000 Seattle-area residents, along with annual savings at the airport of 2.1 million gallons of fuel and 25,000 tons of carbon-dioxide emissions.

"There is nobody who loses here," Adams said.

...

The airline began using the new navigation system in 1996 to enable its planes to fly safely into Juneau, Alaska, approaching along a narrow sea channel surrounded by rugged mountains. Other airlines have since applied it in other areas, including Australia and Tibet.

...More

The big challenge appears to be the bureaucracy of the FAA.

The FAA's Hickey, onboard the test flight, said it's too early to estimate when the agency might approve Alaska Airlines' Sea-Tac procedures for use by all airlines.

"NextGen is a long, long process of transformation from the current system to a future system that is far more efficient," Hickey said. "It's not a big bang. It's going to be a bunch of incremental approaches."

The NextGen plan stretches through 2025. Hickey said the Obama administration is looking at accelerating parts of it.

...More

As someone who spend 90,000 miles a year sitting on airplanes, I certainly value safety, and I don't want anyone cutting corners, but more than a decade to fully implement something like this just doesn't make sense to me. Even the optimistic assessment from Alaska has it taking 5 years to implement at SEA.

"I think you could see us doing this with passengers in late-night arrivals in one or two years," he said. "And in daytime mainstream arrivals, potentially within five years."

Integrating these changes with airlines that have the advanced equipment that Alaska does could be challenging, but years?

Alaska has already been essentially doing this in Juneau since 1996.

The airlines are struggling now. Air Traffic Control is now facing a serious shortage of new controllers since all the new ones hired in the early 80s (following the disastrous PATCO strike) are now at retirement age.

Let's speed this up, save fuel, save money, reduce the ATC workload, and reduce the burden on airport communities.

Travel and storms

It was around midnight when we spilled off the regional jet at the Savannah airport. I'm not sure why going to the Georgia coast in July seemed like a good idea. The three feet between the airplane door and the air conditioned jetway said, "Go home."

At most airports the mix of jet fuel, jet exhaust, and late passenger desperation combine to make their own potent cocktail. In Savannah, they didn't stand a chance against the dank scent of plant decay and swamp air laden with moisture so think your luggage gets we just because you carry it.

It was the end of a long day in the air and on the ground. 14 hours after checking in at SEA, I had my bag back in SAV and trundled out to the rental car.

The day started with a 2.5 hour weather delay in Seattle because of storms in Dallas. When I finally made it to the overcrowded, low ceilinged labyrinth that is the Dallas airport, I got my fist piece of good news -- the connection was delayed. But they didn't seem to know where to put it. Thus, I completed my triathlon training dragging carry on luggage to a different B-Gate every 5 minutes. A lunch of Twix and juice would have to be enough. And it would undo my triathlon training.

But eventually I did make it into the moist city of Savannah. Cars were strewn about the hotel parking lot, popped up on random curbs as people sought anyplace they could find to stash their car. All the locals checked in to the hotel because of a blackout. But the hotel honored my reservation, and at 1:00 AM, that's all I can ask. They gave me the weirdest hotel room I've ever had, but that's a tale for another day.

So there's not much point to this post, other than to point out Savannah is wet even when it doesn't rain, and to play with language a bit. I imagine I'll have a much more favorable opinion of the town after a few hours sleep.

10 Things I like about the Detroit Airport

1. It has a Popeye's
2. The A concourse is just silly long, but has plenty of people movers and a train.
3. The tunnel from concourse B to A has a nice music and light show.
4. It has a good sushi place
5. The NW World Club in the B concourse was a great place ot relax or work.
6. It has a Fudruckers.
7. When you arrive in A from the B concourse, there is a often a 747 parked next to the widows and it is awesome. Heck, it's not too uncommon for there to be a bunch of 747s and A340s parked there.
8. It's hard to get lost.
9. The giant TV screens.
10. It has a Taco Bell.

The 787 and advanced planning

When Delta airlines bought Northwest Airlines, it picked up more than just some routes, some planes, and lousy labor relations. It also picked up NW's order for Boeing's next generation airplane -- the often delay 787.

The plane was scheduled to have it's first test flight last month, but testing showed the need to delay that process again. Originally, it was supposed to be in service in time for the 2008 Summer Olympics.

But Delta is apparently optimistic that they will one day in the future be flying the 787-800 in and out of the S-Concourse at SEA. How can we tell? They painted parking spots for it on the ground.




You can see some more views of the paint here.

And perhaps there is reason to be optimistic. A couple days ago, Boeing conducted the first self-powered taxi tests for the aircraft. You can see the video below (source: http://boeingblogs.com/randy/)

It looks beautiful on the ground. I can't wait to see it in the air.

SEA Airport and community space

The Central Course is a beautiful space. There are both fast food and local restaurants there, along with travel friendly and funky shopping.

But there's a problem. The Port of Seattle got carried away with the Civic Space. They seem to think we want to talk to one another.

Here's how they describe it on the airport website:

The main feature of the new Central Terminal is a grand civic space. The Pacific Marketplace is a city streetscape, a scene of the Northwest community complete with shops, restaurants, landscaping, a view to the airfield, and public art. The gathering place, designed by Fentress Bradburn Architects, encompasses 60,000 square feet with a 60-foot tall ceiling and a west-facing structural glass curtain wall. During the day, the large expanse of glass floods the space with sparkle and light; at night, the glowing room becomes a beacon. This interior space feels like an outdoor room.

They went crazy with the community.

The food court is filled with tables and chairs designed for groups of 4 or 5 people. It's great to have a few of those, but at SEA, nearly all the tables are like that.

In this lousy shot, I managed to capture a few of the smaller tables.




You know something? Most people travel ALONE. Group travel is the exception, not the rule. We don't need that many large tables. We need smaller ones for one or two people.

I'm sure they considered this in the design meeting. And I'm sure it was intentional. The must have thought that this way strangers will meet one another over a meal. They may share a table while carting their Wendy's french fries or their sushi about the food court.

It would provide an opportunity for accidental interaction. Travelers would meet new members of the travel community and share their stories the way travelers of old would when they reached the pub in that small town in the middle of their arduous journey.

People who do not know one another would share a table and strengthen the bonds of community. It would be a modern day Canterbury Tales.

It's a very Seattle approach.

BUT WE DON'T WANT TO DO THAT!

Most travelers want to get where they are going. Maybe they want a quick bite in a nice environment before the next flight.

Mostly, we want to be left alone.

When you walk around the concourse you see all these huge tables with only one person sitting at them. It makes is hard to find an open table.

In most places it's rude to take a large table for one's self. You're expected to take a small table if it's just one person. At SEA, we have no choice.

They designed the space for the ideal of what they want to promote, and not for the reality of what the traveling public wants.

They Port could easily replace 20 large tables with 40 or more small tables. It will be easier to find a seat. People who want to be left alone could be left alone. And it would make the traveling experience less stressful.

The airport should quit trying to reengineer their users and instead just try to make us happy.

Danger at the airport

At SEA Thursday night, airport danger did not come from difficulty with a plane, unsavory characters, or even an overzealous TSA person. The runways and hallways were clear. The driveways -- not so much.

I hauled my luggage off the escalator and headed to the crosswalk so I could get the shuttle to my parkling lot (MasterPark, Lot B is great). And then a Fairfield Inn shuttle starts backing up quickly.

There are two lanes in the shuttle pick up area. The curb lane is where the drivers pick up passengers. The left lane is for passing shuttles that are picking up passengers. They both go the same direction.

For some bizarre reason, the shuttle driver from the Fairfield Inn decides he is going to back up.

Not only is he backing up, he is backing up diagonally, from the curb lane into the left lane.

Not only is he backing up from the curb lane into the left lane, he is doing it quickly.

Not only is he doing it quickly, he is also ignoring the other shuttle driver -- who is already in the left lane, in danger of being rammed and is pounding his horn.

Not only is he ignoring the pounding horn, he is also expecting the wall that separates me from the road to get the hell out of his way.

The wall decides to stay put.

*crunch*

The van hits the wall, bends the wall frame, and punches out a metal panel 15' from where I was walking.

The driver gets out and is stunned that dozens of people are looking at him like he's a moron.

The wall took some damage; the van very little.

And I wonder how many of that Fairfield Inn's guest decided to arrive by taxi that night.

AT&T's Phone Booth 2000

At some point, AT&T had a vision. They presumably looked forward to the year 2000, and considered what a public phone booth might look like. I am assuming they put these in 10 years ago in the Columbus, OH , airport.


It seems like a great idea. Though now I'm not sure if it's futuristic or retro. Regardless, there are several of these Public Phone 2000 installations in the B terminal.

They provide a tiny bit of privacy in the bustling airport.


The seats are slightly off balance, but they are a place to get a little bit of work done. Fortunately, the airport has free Wi-Fi, because I'm not sure that the telephone system of the future -- the telephone system of that grand year 2000 -- is really going to be all that effective.

Here it is.



Public Phone 2000 takes us back to that innovative era that gave us -- THE TABLE. Thrilling, isn't it?

I imagine this was a really cool display at some point, but whatever technology they had became obsolete. Still, it's great that these spaces are available and that the electrical outlet actually works. I'm glad they didn't rip them out.

But they might want to update that advertising.

John Wayne Airport modernizes to 1998 levels

At the Irvine Airport, there are two extension cords. One runs from the one outlet to the runway lights. The other goes to the tower. If a passenger trips over one they have to close the airport.

That's also the real reason the airport closes at night. They don't have the curfew because of noise. It's because that's when TSA guy Frankie gets off and he takes his extension cord home for his Xbox.

Okay, maybe it's not quite that bad, but the lack of outlets at that airports has been a shockingly big problem.

Last year, I remember sitting on the floor near the flight insurance vending machine at the Orange County (AKA John Wayne, AKA Santa Anna, AKA SNA) airport with 3 other business travelers. We were taking turns using the only available outlet in the airport.

With all the global technology companies operating in the Irvine area, you would think "electricity" would not be a foreign concept to the airport authorities. But you would be wrong. It's almost as rare as it was in 1783.

So imagine my surprise when I say this on a recent trip.






Thank you, SNA, for taking this important step towards becoming a modern airport. Now can we talk about free Wi-Fi?

With a little luck, you could be as technologically useful as Long Beach (LGB)

Storms over Minnesota

Last Tuesday when I few into Minneapolis, we had a bit of delay. Here's why:

We had to circle the airport for about 45 minutes due to these thunderstorms. They weren't letting anyone land.

We got lucky, though. One of my colleagues was due to land at MSP at about the same time. Unfortunately, they had a longer flight and had to divert to Iowa when they started to run low on fuel.

Weeeeeeeee

I gotta say, the idea of going down the slide in a non-emergency does sound kind of fun. Of course it doesn't matter how quickly you get off the plane when you still have to deal with customs and baggage claim. And replacing the slide for the airline can't be cheap. So I guess I'll stick with the door.

GEORGETOWN, Guyana — Guyanese authorities say a first-class airline passenger was so angry at seeing economy passengers leave a jetliner before him that he yanked open an emergency hatch and slid down the chute.

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Apparently The Obama campaign thought it sounded like fun, too.

The plane, an MD-80 Midwest charter, struggled to keep the nose at the necessary angle, as it left for Charlotte, N.C., the pilot said. Later, Midwest Airlines said the problem developed because an emergency slide located in the tail cone of the plane deployed in flight and never threatened the safety of the flight. The National Transportation Safety Board said it planned to investigate the incident.

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