Lexus December to Remember Sales Event

I'm excited.  It's finally starting to feel like Christmas.  You know why? Because I just saw the first Lexus December to Remember Sales Event commercial of the season.

I love the Lexus December to Remember Sales Event! It's awesome.  Someone leads their significant other out the house with hands over their eyes, then they remove their hands so they can see a brand new Lexus with a giant red bow on the roof.  And everyone is all thrilled and pleased and happy.

No one thinks someone just committed a crime.

No one freaks out about the huge amount of money their SO just spent on them.

No one who gets a Lexus panics about how that water filer they got for their SO can never live up to a luxury automobile.

There's just pure joy about receiving a luxury automobile with a giant red bow on the roof.

I don't know why these commercials make me feel so holiday-ey. 

It's not like they were on when I was growing up.  Heck, Lexus didn't even exist then. 

It's not like I ever got a Lexus for Christmas.

It's not like they call to mind a simpler era.

Maybe it's because of the silly, quasi-rythmic name: "Lexus December to Remember Sales Event."  It's just more fun than "Toyota-thon."

Or it could be simple, happy tune.

Maybe it's because Lexus gifts are so wildly, unapologetically, inappropriate for the Holiday season.  There is a level of conspicuous wealth consumption in those commercials that just blows away all the $3000 frying pans from William-Sonoma.  They're like Internet companies from 1998.  They're just so awsomely over the top I can't help but love them.

And the gaint, obnoxious bows look like something out of a Saturday Night Live sketch.  Yet they're still fantastic.

I don't own a Lexus.  And I don't have any financial relationship with Lexus (though if they want to give me one, I certainly won't object).  And I thought about doing a sarcastic rant about the Lexus December to Remember Sales event, but I can't.

Because for some odd reason, the commercials for the Lexus December to Remember Sales event just make me happy.

While the older, more traditional commercial may not be online, below is one of the ones from this year. There's also a video that shows where those big bows come from.

Stubborness

Bernie is a stubborn animal. He is not about to let anyone else's actions interfere with his own happiness. And I admire him for that.

Here he is:




He decided he wanted to nap in that box. It didn't matter that he's too big for it. It did matter that he spilled out over the edges of it. He made his decision.

Of course I couldn't just let him be. When I walked passed him, I would pour him out of the box and on to the couch. Bernie would lift his head up, blink slowly and gradually assess the situations. Then he would sleepily climb in back into is card board box. We kept up this routine until I left town. I guess that means he won.

War on Paper 01: Fujitsu Scan Snap S510

My mother gave this scanner for Christmas. Due to my travel I haven't had a chance to set it up until tonight.

I will do a more detailed review in a few weeks, once I get to know it better, but my early opinion is that it is awesome.

It took about 45 minutes to install the software that it comes with, but it makes up for that with how fast it chews through scans. This is by far the fastest and most flexible document scanner I have used. It's much faster than my most recent stalwart, an HP Officejet 7130xi. And the Fujitsu doesn't jam like the HP does.

There are some quirks about the software I have to understand betters, but it does scan directly to the industry standard PDF format, minimizing the chances I'll scan my documents to a format that's unreadable 5 years down the road.

I expect this small scanner to be a valuable ally in my ongoing war against, paper. Thanks, Mom.

Christmas Traditions

Families around the world have Christmas traditions. Some light candles. Some sing songs. Some do service projects. Some pass around funny decorations.

We have a special and long standing tradition in my family, too. After we unwrap presents, we all sit around the living room picking up paper. And then....

...we throw it all at the cats.






This is one tradition that has stood the test of time.

Christmas Ornaments

In the mid to late 70s my mother, brother, and I were regular customers of Plaster Palace. Located on Jamaica AVE in Woodhaven, Plaster Palace sold decorations, crafts, and figurines made out of plaster. You would take them home, paint them, and then spray them with these great smelling, and probably carcinogenic, glosses to finish them off.

Some time in the mid 90s or so, these types of places sprang up all over they country and quickly became cool, hip dating and corporate team building hot spots. By that time, Plaster Palace was long gone. But we still have the Christmas ornaments we "made" from there.

There's something comforting about looking at the tree decades later and seeing those familiar creations hanging on the branches. Some are faded; some are dusty, but they're still there. When I was 8 it never occurred to me that I'd be be looking at those same ornaments 25 and thirty years later.


On another note:

A man walked into a restaurant for breakfast one winter morning. He sat down in the booth, took off his coat and rubbed his hands to warm up. The waiter handed him a menu, then returned a few minutes later with a cup of coffee. The man layed the menu on the table, and continued to peruse it while he wrapped his fingers around the warm mug. He took a sip of coffee and began to relax. He was hungry, but determined to be disciplined. He looked at the "lite" entrees. The waiter came back and the man asked the waiter about the healthy choices.

"I'm supposed to be on a diet," said the man. "I'm trying to be good. What would should I get that's healthy?"

The waiter looked over his shoulder and then said in a low voice to the man, "The oatmeal is left over from yesterday. The fruit platter is two oranges and a grape. And the granola is, well, granola. You sure you want to eat healthy? People don't come to a place like this to be healthy."

The man grinned sheepishly and said, "Well, I've been on a diet, but it's Christmas week. I guess I can indulge a little. I'll have an omelet."

"Are you sure?" said the waiter. "If you're going to break your diet, go all the way. Get the Eggs Benedict."

"Is it good?"

"It two slightly cooked eggs, one muffin, with bacon -- albeit Canadian -- and a rich creamy hollandaise sauce that we just made smothering everything on the plate -- the eggs, the hash browns, the bacon and English muffins. It's thick, luxurious, and is the perfect reward for those who have 'been good,'" said the waiter with a slightly impish grin. "With all that, how could it not be great?"

"Oh, what the heck, why not?" said the man.

The waiter picked up the menu, put the order in with the kitchen, and then went to the back corner of the restaurant. He climbed up on a table and tool a big, shiny platter down from the wall. He climbed down, buffed the platter and handed it to the kitchen.

In a few minutes, the cook rang the bell on the counter, and the waiter picked up the platter with the man's Eggs Benedict. He said it down before his new favorite customer.

The man said, "It looks great, but what's with the big, shiny platter?"

The waiter paused, and looked at the man. Then he smiled broadly and said, "There's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise."



It may be an old joke, but it's on of my favorites today. Merry Christmas.