Hey! There's a turkey butt sticking out of my bucket

The GF and I have been brine-ing turkeys for several Thanksgivings now, and have the routine pretty well down. A brined turkey is great. It has plenty of flavor and is much less likely to dry out in cooking. You end up with a tasty and moist bird. If you want to try brining your own turkey, try Alton Brown's recipe.

This year, we had planned to have a bunch of people over to my apartment for dinner, but had to change plans at the last minute. Now the two of us have a 19-pound turkey (and twenty pounds of Costco potatoes) all to ourselves. That means Friday through Sunday we eat turkey sandwiches, and Wednesday through Friday we eat a lot of turkey soup. (The missing days are reserved for room service in CA.)

To brine a turkey, you start the night before. You cook up the brine, make a bunch of ice, and find a bucket. You pour the brine and the ice cubes into the bucket and then add the turkey.

We used the same bucket from previous small-turkey years and poured in the brine. Then we added all the ice cubes we have ever made. Now my bucket was half full.

With ice.

And brine.

And now there was no room for turkey. So I spent the next several minute pulling out ice cubes.

I stuck the turkey in and and then began pulling out even more ice cubes. Have I mentioned that the brine was icy?

The turkey was still too big.

So tried to reseat the turkey on in the bucket by shifting the ice around. Have you ever shifted ice around like that? There's a reason those crab fishermen on the Discovery Channel where those big suit while there out on the deck, in the ridiculously tall waves off the coast of Alaska. It's cold and painful.

Let me tell you -- it is very different from the summer BBQ. Then in the comfort of 95 degree heat, you plunge your hand into the ice filled water in the cooler looking for the last real Pepsi. It take a while to find it, because the cooler is filled with nothing for Caffeine-free Diet Coke. Seriously -- why do people by so much of that junk? I can understand a six pack, but filling the cooler with it? What are you thinking? Were they out of Sierra Mist?

Regardless, fishing around for that last real Pepsi is painful, but it's tempered by the hot weather, the fact that the rest of your body is warm, and that there are all those people around enjoying the sun.

Messing around in the icy brine surrounding the sickly pink looking saggy flesh of the dead, naked, 19-pound bird while trying to not catch salmonella is not quite as much fun. But I did what I had to do, and almost got it done.

Eventually, the feeling did return to my fingers. And they all stayed attached, so I'm ready for whatever the next step is.

So here's the turkey. Only 7 more hours until it's time to flip the bird.





Have a great Thanksgiving everyone. Enjoy the day and stay safe.