That's the Problem

CNN cites a document on The Smoking Gun that allegedly lists Vice President Cheney's hotel demands. And it explains a lot.

Sure, there's bottled water, TV tuned to Fox News, temperature at 68 degrees, etc.

But if ever wondered, "What is wrong with that man?" Or, "Why is Cheney so cranky?" Or "Why did he shoot his lawyer friend?" Or "Why did he outsource the capture of Bin Laden to the Pakistanis?" now we have the answer.

Decaf. He drinks decaf coffee and Decaf Diet Sprite. Why any one would voluntarily drink that is beyond me, but it has to mess you up. Badly.

Seriously, Mr. Vice President, go to Starbucks. Have a cup of the good stuff. The headaches will go away. The mind will clear. And the world will seem like a nicer place.