Christmas Ornaments

In the mid to late 70s my mother, brother, and I were regular customers of Plaster Palace. Located on Jamaica AVE in Woodhaven, Plaster Palace sold decorations, crafts, and figurines made out of plaster. You would take them home, paint them, and then spray them with these great smelling, and probably carcinogenic, glosses to finish them off.

Some time in the mid 90s or so, these types of places sprang up all over they country and quickly became cool, hip dating and corporate team building hot spots. By that time, Plaster Palace was long gone. But we still have the Christmas ornaments we "made" from there.

There's something comforting about looking at the tree decades later and seeing those familiar creations hanging on the branches. Some are faded; some are dusty, but they're still there. When I was 8 it never occurred to me that I'd be be looking at those same ornaments 25 and thirty years later.


On another note:

A man walked into a restaurant for breakfast one winter morning. He sat down in the booth, took off his coat and rubbed his hands to warm up. The waiter handed him a menu, then returned a few minutes later with a cup of coffee. The man layed the menu on the table, and continued to peruse it while he wrapped his fingers around the warm mug. He took a sip of coffee and began to relax. He was hungry, but determined to be disciplined. He looked at the "lite" entrees. The waiter came back and the man asked the waiter about the healthy choices.

"I'm supposed to be on a diet," said the man. "I'm trying to be good. What would should I get that's healthy?"

The waiter looked over his shoulder and then said in a low voice to the man, "The oatmeal is left over from yesterday. The fruit platter is two oranges and a grape. And the granola is, well, granola. You sure you want to eat healthy? People don't come to a place like this to be healthy."

The man grinned sheepishly and said, "Well, I've been on a diet, but it's Christmas week. I guess I can indulge a little. I'll have an omelet."

"Are you sure?" said the waiter. "If you're going to break your diet, go all the way. Get the Eggs Benedict."

"Is it good?"

"It two slightly cooked eggs, one muffin, with bacon -- albeit Canadian -- and a rich creamy hollandaise sauce that we just made smothering everything on the plate -- the eggs, the hash browns, the bacon and English muffins. It's thick, luxurious, and is the perfect reward for those who have 'been good,'" said the waiter with a slightly impish grin. "With all that, how could it not be great?"

"Oh, what the heck, why not?" said the man.

The waiter picked up the menu, put the order in with the kitchen, and then went to the back corner of the restaurant. He climbed up on a table and tool a big, shiny platter down from the wall. He climbed down, buffed the platter and handed it to the kitchen.

In a few minutes, the cook rang the bell on the counter, and the waiter picked up the platter with the man's Eggs Benedict. He said it down before his new favorite customer.

The man said, "It looks great, but what's with the big, shiny platter?"

The waiter paused, and looked at the man. Then he smiled broadly and said, "There's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise."



It may be an old joke, but it's on of my favorites today. Merry Christmas.