A bird on the deck is worth...an enraged gardener

I was happy to find a bird on my deck tonight.

Normally, I don't like birds occupying my territory or my airspace.  The can fly nearby and do their pretty bird thing, but I want them to respect my borders.  Birds make a mess of things and I find myself having to clean outdoor furniture. 

And Seattle must be the only place in the world with vegetarian crows.  What kind of scavengers are these things?  For a while, they were eating my cilantro.  After than died, the strawberries came into season.  I watch a crow land on my deck, walk up to the pot, look around for the best berry (that I planned to eat), take it off the bush and head off. 

I try to chase them off when they come to steal and feast, but I'm not sure how productive that is.  When I come running out the door, they fly away (with my produce) but will their tiny little brains actually remember that experience next time, or will they swallow their ill-gotten games and forget the crazy guy running at them.  I still don't know what I would do if I actually caught one that didn't fly.

The other issue is that in retrospect, running towards the railing 6 stories up, just to scare a bird (with strawberry juice dripping down its face) might not me the smartest ideal in the world.  In fact, it's one of those that should likely start with, "Here, hold my beer and watch this..."

But tonight, I put the bird on the deck. I brined the turkey in a big pot and left it out there to stay cool.  Those birds are the ones allowed.

Perhaps instead of brining it in the bag, I should have put it on a pike sunk into the tar paper so it could serve as a warning to the other avians to stay away.

The only bird allowed on my deck is a dead turkey.

And maybe a living penguin.  That would nifty.