2011-04-01

New Character Class in Next Version of WoW: The Hermit

It has now leaked out that the next character class in WoW will be the long awaited Hermit.

A spokesperson said, "The Hermit really lets us take social gaming into a new realm: the anti-social."

When a player chooses a Hermit, they can play the massively multi player online role playing game on their own. When they log on to their favorite server, their first task is to find a cave in the forest or dessert for their hermit to live in. Then they go there and stay in hiding.

Characters advance in levels by not interacting with others, and when they do, it's through shouted exhortations to go away. Sometimes they throw cats.  The primary defense the hermit possesses is strong body odor which annoys other players who attempt to visit.  Players can also advance by mumbling to themselves incoherently, coming up with conspiracy theories they shout at their walls, pacing uncomfortably, and growing facial hair.

As a character advances they get access to special items, like scratchier clothing, scrawled "Do Not Disturb" signs, and stronger body odor.

Despite these awesome advances, a higher level character will gradually lose their affinity for spoken language while their conspiracy theories become more grandiose.

A Hermit can choose to be a member of the Alliance or the Horde, not that it makes any difference.

The spokesperson continued,"We think this will be the biggest hit in the next expansion pack.  Many users want to play our multi player game but they want to do it completely by themselves. The Hermit let's them do that.  They finally have a place for mumbling and avoiding social contact which is something WoW players never been able to do before.  Plus, it should stave off those ADA lawsuits by those suffering from Social Anxiety disorder."

The expansion pack featuring the Hermit should be in stores and online by Thanksgiving.




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