The GF and I have have strict roles in our relationship.

I lift the heavy things, do the driving, and kill the spiders (though sometimes I just deport them to the outdoors -- shhhhhhhhh).

She does the cooking and keeps her apartment clean (did you know you're supposed to change the sheets more than once a year and mop the kitchen floor at times other than when you're moving out?)

Somehow or other we've fallen into this 1950s dynamic. I'm not sure how or when that happened.

I was reminded of this today out on the deck. She was lounging, reading her book and I brought some stuff up to the grill to make my lunch (she had awesome leftover Thai-style Cantonese food for lunch). I planned to have brats, Kraft singles, fresh tomatoes, and pesto on hogie rolls.

Tongs in hand, I dopped the meat on the grill. I looked up and the GF was standing right next to me waiting for the tongs, And a bit puzzled that she felt the need to be there.

Without even thinking about it she wanted to take over the grill from me. I was trespassing in her area.

It could be that she's simply tasted my cooking before and doesn't trust me with non-magnetron based cooking equipment, but I prefer to think of it as an example of the subconscious strength of our personal roles and how deeply they tie into our self-identity,

It's better for my ego that way.


Tina Kubala said...

My relationship is (mostly) opposite of traditional roles. My husband hasn't worked in five years, so he does the cooking, cleaning, ect. I'm the breadwinner. He cooks, bakes bread, does all the 'man jobs' like taking out the trash. In all, I have a pretty sweet deal.

It's funny how people react when I talk about it. I'm sure part of it is living in the rural midwest, but some people seem to think it's bazaar. For us, necessity started it, but the roles fit pretty nice.

Dorothy said...

Sounds like your roles will change from time to time which always keeps things interesting.

Dorothy from grammology

Kavita (luvikavi) said...

Lol I laughed while reading this post. My b.f. and I have been going out for 6 years, and we've fallen into those same roles, however time can change things.

My b.f., however, would never kill a bug. I remember one time a spider was in his van, and he just blew it outside.

I don't know if that's a feminine or masculine thing lol.

hope you visit my blog when you get the chance


Jan from BetterSpines said...

Ah yes, but man barbecue and woman make salad. That's why God invented the barbecue - so man could burn the meat while the woman rested with a cold chardonnay.